The mostly true story of a historic moment in my soccer career

Most Saturday mornings throughout the year, I get up early, get dressed and go play soccer in my local league.

My wife loves it when I wake her up with my talking, loudly getting dressed and then double and triple checking that I have all of my shin guards and cleats, but I always offer her some reassuring words that make her feel better.

“You knew what you were getting into when you married a big time athlete like me,” I say before she throws my shin guards at me. I know she is really just making sure I have everything I need, and it always inspires me to go out and be the best soccer player I can be!

Unfortunately, though, that player is not very good. Continue reading “The mostly true story of a historic moment in my soccer career”

I have the perfect actor for the next James Bond movie

After much deliberation, I have decided that I will accept the movie role of James Bond, 007.

I read this week that actor Daniel Craig understandably turned down $100 million to continue playing the role of Bond in the popular film series. I can’t say as I blame him as it all sounds awful. I imagine he felt rather insulted by the offer. Continue reading “I have the perfect actor for the next James Bond movie”

These 17-year-olds with five eyes are flying around my yard

As students are graduating and people of all ages are moving into new phases of their lives, it forces us all to look at how quickly life changes and the years fly by.

Somehow this is 2016, but it seems like it wasn’t that long ago that we were still in 1999, wondering what the new millennium would be like.

Those were the days when my son was only two years old, my two youngest stepchildren were not even born yet and the idea of an iPhone seemed like something out of Star Trek. This was also the last time that the 17-year cicadas emerged in my part of Ohio.

Like the people of Brigadoon, the cicadas are now mysteriously reappearing, and I am super excited about the whole thing. First of all, cicadas are fascinating creatures that live interesting lives. Second of all, I think a Brigadoon type musical about the lives of cicadas would be awesome. Continue reading “These 17-year-olds with five eyes are flying around my yard”