Top Five Things Other People Can Do With Their Bodies That I Wish I Could Do

My body works reasonably well, but I have always been a little jealous of people who seem to have special abilities. I’m not saying they are X-Men or anything like that, but they are able to do things with their bodies that I cannot do and I usually have now idea how they do it.

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Top 5 Rules for the Movie Theater

I enjoy going to the movies, but there are several rules that must be followed in order to make the experience enjoyable. I should add that it goes without saying that you should not see scary movies. Ever. Or movies that seem sad. Or movies with Keanu Reeves. Or sad movies with Keanu Reeves (although how could you tell if he was sad or not?).

Here then, are the Top 5 Rules for the Movie Theater.

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I’ll say it so you don’t have to

Often at the end of a long day, I will turn to my wife or the children and let them know that I am thinking the same thing they are.

“You’re welcome,” I say quietly.

They usually pretend to not know what I am talking about, but I know they must be thinking, “Thank you, Nick, for being such a great and cool husband/father/stepfather/pet owner/neighbor/writer/co-worker/athlete/model citizen/Muppets fan.”

I don’t mean to brag, but there’s really no way around it. I am pretty amazing.

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