I have nothing to write about today.
I apologize but nothing very interesting has happened to me recently and my work on the Top Five Kirks is stuck at a standstill. Our judges are divided over this controversial topic due to a cornucopia outstanding Kirks. Who should be No. 1?
- Kirk Gibson, World Series star for the Los Angeles Dodgers and Detroit Tigers?
- Captain James T. Kirk of the Star Trek Enterprise? Damn it Jim, he’s got to be included!
- Actor Kirk Cameron? I almost forgot him and left him behind.
- Ohio high school basketball coach (when I was in high school and still today) and high school/college basketball star Kirk Lehman?
- The National Church of Scotland, which is apparently named Kirk for some reason?
- ESPN star, and former Ohio State University quarterback Kirk Herbstreit? (Also a former baseball teammate of my college housemate Sam Lickert, so Herby and I are practically best friends.)
You can see why our judges are stumped and why I can’t write that column today.
I also could write about how much fun I had playing rec soccer yesterday and how great I felt about some of the kicks and saves I made, but then I would also need to point out how much my back hurts today, how my left knee is aching and how old I am feeling. Frankly, I am more likely to eat a nice warm bowl of Quaker Oats then I am to write a good post today.
Hey, what about Kirk Douglas, who is 100 (set to turn 101 in December)? He is a fascinating guy and should definitely be in the Top 5 Kirks. I bet he loves oatmeal.
I could also write about how we recently got rid of some old furniture in the house and how happy I was about how smoothly the whole process went. The day involved taking some furniture apart, purchasing new items, borrowing a pickup truck and then moving everything, and it all was shockingly simple.
Usually these projects take twice as long as they should, but on the drive home after dropping off the last of the old furniture, I was excited and relieved about how everything went. It was a great feeling to know that we were all finished, and I enjoyed resting my arm out of the car window as I soaked in the cool fall weather.
And that’s when the muffler fell off of the truck.
I kid you not, as soon as I thought, “Wow that was great and so easy!” my next thought was “What’s that strange noise coming out of the back of this truck?”
And there’s nothing better than breaking a vehicle that you are borrowing from someone else, so that was fun, too. So basically, I can’t really write much about that either.
I do see plenty other blogs where people are writing about cool things, and I would suggest you check those blogs out today since I can’t think of anything very interesting. Those blogs include (and I am only mentioning a few of the many, many I enjoy):
- Riddle from the Middle – An awesome blog about families and life, with a side of snark.
- Biff Sock Pow – An always funny blog from a writer who finds the humor in everyday life and points out important items to know, such as the similarities between the words Monday and mundane. He also has a spooky Halloween post today.
- Cordelia’s Mom, Still – A blog about family and life from a writer who has had great success with her super writing over the years, but has not had much success with home improvement stores recently.
- Ellen McKay– Another fun blog, she is currently writing about words such as “Cahoots”, “Razzmatazz” and “Fluffle,” and if you like words, you’ll want to check it out.
- Basilike Pappa– An amazing writer of poetry, haikus and other works that make me happy I found her blog but jealous because I wish I could write like that.
So what have I learned today? Well, first of all, our judges don’t think NFL Quarterback Kirk Cousins makes the Top 5 yet, but he is working his way up, or kirking his way up I suppose.
This column is also a good reminder that I am old and that nothing ever goes smoothly when I have a home improvement project to kirk on, I mean work on.
I also learned that when I can’t think of anything to write, I still enjoy eating oatmeal and then getting on here and reading from so many other talented writers from around the world, some are likely even inspired to write while at Kirk.
And finally, today just goes to prove that even when I have nothing to write about, I still go on for far, far too long.
Can you think of any other Top Kirks or ideas for me to write about? Feel free to comment below. Thanks!
Snooker is a popular ‘sport’ in the UK and in the 1980’s there was a Canadian player called Kirk Stevens (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/snooker/2891109.stm). Famous for a glorious mullet hair do, white suits and sniffing white powdery stuff.
Probably minus points for being Canadian and not that good at Snooker but plus points of scoring high on the Drugs and Sex marks on the BBC marks chart.
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Thanks, I had not heard of Kirk Stevens, but I read the link you shared and he sounds pretty interesting. I think he may need to be in the Top 5, and he can easily replace Kirk Cameron, now, too. Thanks!
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That’ll be the first Top 5 he’s been in. 😉
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Nick, I can’t begin to tell you how much it means that you recommended my writing. I too wish I could write like you – humor isn’t an easy thing to do in a truly humorous way. And I also wish I could share bowls of oatmeal with you, and maybe some yogurt with honey, and talk about physical pain that comes from being physical. All my love to you and yours.
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Thanks, that’s very nice of you, but I am just a big fan of your writing. I have not tried yogurt and honey together, but I like them both individually, so I will try that combination. Thanks, and I hope you are enjoying a fine day today.
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I truly enjoy your blog and your writing. I wrote for a few years and have fallen away from it. Maybe if I read enough of yours and Andy’s blog I can get inspiration to write again.
Honorable Mention for Kirk Franklin the recording artist?
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Thanks, that’s very nice of you to say! Andy has a great blog, and you should definitely start writing again. Kirk Franklin is an excellent choice for an honorable mention, too!
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That’s a pretty long post for nothing to say. 🙂 I’m gonna vote for Kirk Cameron last. I met him once on a movie set (volunteering as an extra) and he gave me pamphlet that said “You and everyone you love will die”.
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Thanks, and that’s a weird thing for Kirk to do. That definitely pushes him down the list.
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What about Kirkland’s, the store? Does that count as a Kirk?
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I don’t think I have heard of that store, but I am intrigued by it. It may need to be added to the list.
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Kirkland is the Costco house brand. Do they have a store as well? I need to go there.
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There is also the fictional Kirk on Gilmore Girls (the television show). He’s a tertiary character, but always has fun asides.
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I have not seen that show but will look for him, thanks!
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