Around this time of year, we often hear the Kay Jewelers slogan, “Every Kiss Begins With K” which is either a clever wordplay or a scourge on our senses that is repeated over and over on the television, radio and internet while driving everyone crazy.
I have spent way too much time thinking about the slogan, and have come up with several salient and/or stupid points.
First of all, they spell it out as “Every Kiss Begins With Kay,” which makes no sense at all. For the sake of this important discussion, I am spelling it as “Every Kiss Begins With K,” which is at least somewhat logical, while still highly annoying.
And speaking of annoying aspects of the slogan, if it takes you a gift of jewelry in order to get kissed, then you are doing something wrong.
Also, if you follow the logic, then shouldn’t every kid also begin with K? And following the logic even further, I have come up with several more slogans:
- Every Flunk Begins With F.
- Every Eye Chart Begins With E (that one’s my favorite).
- Every Yearning Begins With Y (make sense if you think about it).
- Every Handshake Begins With Hands.
- Every Tea Break Begins With T.
- Every Dominant Football Team Begins With D.
- Every Us Begins With U (this should be on a greeting card).
- Every Caress Begins With Care.
And if you take it a step further
- Every Old Church Wedding Ends with Ding (from the bells at the end of the ceremony).
- Every Rain Ends With In.
- If you are sore, then Every Touch Ends With Ouch.
- Every Cabbage Ends With Age.
- Many people seem to think that Every Blame Ends With Me.
I should also point out that kiss is also a word for a small drop cookie made of meringue, and I don’t think that Kay Jewelers makes them. Therefore, every kiss small drop cookie made of meringue does not begin with K.
Now that I think about it, though, Every Cookie Does Begin With Cook (I am having a hard time stopping this now).
And what about the band Kiss? Do they start their concerts with a commercial from Kay Jewelers? I actually think that would be smart if they did. The Kiss fans would lick it up, lick it up.
Or what about the song, “Kiss” by Prince? You don’t have to be rich to be the girl in that song, and it does not say anything about Kay Jewelers. The Diamonds and Pearls song by Kiss is another story, but I digress.
Finally, and most importantly, as much as I dislike the slogan, there must be something smart about it simply because I remembered it and I have been obsessing on it way too much.
So, while we can debate whether or not it is a good slogan or an assault on the English language, and while someone could write a thesis paper about if every kiss really does begin with k, one thing we can agree on is that the slogan is etched into our minds and memories.
And of course, you know, Every Memory Begins With Me.
You’ve got a lot of free time,don’t you?
LikeLiked by 4 people
Great point! Free time is needed for these important issues.
LikeLike
Ha ha ha. I hope you got it out of your system enough to enjoy the rest of the holiday season!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I think it’s out of my system now. I hope that you enjoy the holiday season, too.
LikeLike
Great points! I’ve started to despise the Kay commercial from afar.
Now that I’m thinking about it, every kiss begins with k in the States. What happens here, where every kiss doesn’t begin with k, and we don’t even have Kay Jewelers? We probably kiss without getting any jewels, and that’s a bad thing. Or perhaps we don’t kiss at all (because what would be the point of kissing without jewels coming right up?)
Someone should let Kay Jewelers know. They could open here and make us all happy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Those are all outstanding points! Additional reasons that the commercial makes no sense at all. But maybe it will encourage Kay Jewelers to open a store there. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see these written on poorly selling greeting cards. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s very, very funny! Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I like that comment. Thanks!
LikeLike
It occurred to me later that “Kick my ass” also begins with K, which is precisely what my lovely wife would do if I came home with one of those big gaudy rings.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Excellent K reference, and I definitely agree with your wife. You can pay a lot of bills for the price of one of those rings.
LikeLike
And over here every kiss begins with F.
‘Honey, I’ve spent half a year’s wages on a big rock. See? You can put it on your finger!’
‘How thoughtful! Let me put it on my finger and then F you.’
LikeLiked by 2 people
That commercial has been around for years and it has always bothered me, but now I have another reason to dislike it, although I am now mentally going through other options as you have suggested. Well, next time it come on I will make it a game to come up with others. New drinking or party game, hey you might be on to something!
LikeLike
Thanks, and that does sound like a fun drinking game. Let me know how that goes if you are able to try that, and I will let you know if I can try it here. And I’m glad someone else is bothered by that commercial, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You slayed it with this one. Very creative.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Andy! It was fun to write.
LikeLike