Today I would like to discuss with you an important topic that I have spent way too much time thinking about recently.
That topic, of course, is chip clips. I’m sure most of you have been thinking about this topic as well.
I love the way chip clips help to keep bags of chips fresh, but even more than that, I love the name Chip Clip.
Chip clip, chip clip, chip clip!
It’s fun to say, and I often find myself interjecting it into tongue twisters and songs. For example:
How many chips could a chip clip clip if a chip clip could clip chips.
Chip ships chip clips on the chip clip ship.
Before this whole column goes stale, though, I’d like to say that I think we should replicate the magic of chip clips into names for other products. Belts, for example, could be renamed as “Hip Clips” and piercings on your chest can be called “Nip Clips.” Here are a few more suggestions:
- Chip Dip Clips – To keep your chip dip fresh.
- Lip Clips – This would be more of an expression, but if you want someone to keep a secret, you could say, “Why don’t you button your Lip Clip.”
- Rip Clips – To fix clothes with rips.
- Pip Clips – To either hold small fruit seeds or to place on people who are good looking.
- Sip Clips – To hold cups.
- Clique Clips – Everyone in a select group gets one of these clips to put on a backpack or hat.
- Tip Clips – For restaurant workers to hold tips.
- Whip Clips – To hold your whips.
- Zip Clips – To make zippers much easier to use.
- Clip Clips – Needed to keep your clips together of course.
I would also like to spread the rhyming name promotion to other items that don’t necessarily rhyme with clip. We already have Mello Yello, Yoo-Hoo and Ring Dings (all memorable names), but I have suggestions for a few more. All of these are related to chips because I am getting hungry while writing this.
- A container filled with different types of the same brand of chips mixed together should be called a Pringle Mingle or a Ruffles Shuffle.
- A bug that likes to eat chips can be called a Dorito Mosquito.
- If you want to be fancy when eating one snack mix, you should use Chex Mix Chopsticks.
- And let’s not forget the chips that might be eaten in a military plane during times of war. These, of course, would be the bombing crew’s ship’s barbecue chips.
So what have we learned from all of this? Well, I think it shows that writing about chip clips requires craftsmanship and leadership in order to keep the prose fresh and hip. In fact, if there were a chip clip internship, I would apply for it. If I could, I would use all of my chip clip workmanship and chip clip stewardship to try for the coveted chip clip championship.
Perhaps most importantly, it shows that I need to stop writing about chip clips and go to sleep, hopefully dreaming of aliens who would visit me and deliver to me new clips that I would give to all of you as a way of showing we are all one big family. I would call them my readership’s kinship space ship chip clips.
I did warn you this would be all about chip clips. If you made it to the end, do you have any other chip clip type names to share? Any other chip clip quips would be welcome, too. Thanks!