Are zombies really all that bad?

~ nickc324

Zombie movies, television shows and comic books have become extremely popular in recent years, and they seem pretty simple

The main characters are always trying to avoid becoming zombies and they usually end up fighting other humans, too. And while I understand why the main characters don’t want to be killed, eaten or turned into zombies, I think it’s also important to examine the other point of view here.

First of all, we are clearly ignoring the positive aspects of being a zombie. Here are the Top 5 Good Aspects of Being a Zombie.

z5. No need to go to work – It’s like every day is a weekend! You don’t need to have a job, pay bills or do anything responsible. You just walk around aimlessly, wandering around the neighborhood or your home. It’s very similar to what I do most weekends.

4. They seem to be in decent shape – Most zombies I see in movies and television shows look like they get around pretty well and seem to be in decent shape for being dead. Sure, they might be missing an arm or parts of their faces, but I bet that most could do a 5K run/walk, probably at a speed close to mine without all of the exercising that I do.

3. No awkward conversations – I hate when I don’t know what to say to strangers, or I am not sure what people are talking about. If you’re a zombie, though, all you have to say is “Uhhhhhh” or “Ahhhhhh” all of the time. It sounds very easy.

2. Thriller – I wish I could dance as well as those zombies in that Thriller video with Michael Jackson. Zombies dance much better than I do, and it looks fun.

1. Plenty of friends – You rarely see zombies by themselves. They always seem to travel in groups and must enjoy the camaraderie of wandering around aimlessly in large crowds while just grunting in a tired voice. It sounds similar to any crowd at an amusement park after a few hours.

I’d also like to point out that the zombies are environmentally friendly and they don’t post annoying items on social media. Aside from trying to bite and sometimes eat humans, are the zombies really doing anything all that bad?

While also thinking too much about zombie media, it also led me to a few questions:

  • Why don’t the heroes just go somewhere that zombies can’t go, like behind a locked door, onto an island or somewhere cold?
  • How would zombies work anyway? If their organs have stopped working, how exactly are they moving?
  • Is Dracula a zombie?

Maybe instead of just wanting to shoot all of the zombies or chopping their heads off, we should consider their feelings, or lack thereof.

And maybe, just maybe, instead worrying so much about zombies attacking us, we should focus more on the items that truly scare us in life, such as our emotions that we try to bury until they rise up at the worst possible times, our own lack of direction as we too often just drift and stumble aimlessly through our lives, and the possibility of being turned into a werewolf. Werewolves are scary.

For more fun thoughts about Zombies, check out this great post by Artistic Fox.

18 thoughts on “Are zombies really all that bad?”

  2. Excellent points! Especially that on the amusement park.

    I have often wondered why modern vampires are portrayed as having problems with being immortal (plus always young and beautiful), or wondering if drinking people’s blood is ethical. Old-fashioned vampires didn’t have such scruples and didn’t mind living forever, since they didn’t have to earn a living forever. Now THAT would be a problem.

    I wouldn’t mind being a vampire — plenty of food around. I respect your views on zombies, but they don’t look very attractive, and that’s a problem. Werewolves are cool, but as one you’d still have to lead a normal life on not-full-moon nights, so no.

    Because, what’s the point of being supernatural if you have to do the normal stuff?

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    1. Older vampires didn’t seem to bothered by ethical dilemmas, I agree. I don’t understand these young vampires these days, but I also agree that it would be much better to be a full vampire than a zombie. Vampires look better, seem to have more fun and they can fly. Thanks

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  3. Reblogged this on Author_Iris_Chacon and commented:
    Once again Nick Claussen raises our awareness of life’s gravest mysteries. If you stay awake nights thinking of the coming zombie apocalypse—or watching zombies on TV— you will derive some comfort from Nick’s observations. Thanks, Nick. We look forward to your lessons about werewolves.

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  4. I think I may be the last person on the planet who doesn’t watch anything zombie related but I feel like I’ve got the gist here. Do people who watch The Walking Dead just spend the whole time screaming at their tv? “GO INSIDE! LOCK THE DOOR! GET TO ALASKA!” Sounds stressful to me.

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    1. I haven’t watched many recently, but that is exactly what I think when I watch those movies. Just go up some stairs! Shut a door! Get into a boat! It is too stressful. Thanks!

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  9. This is really cool.I have never thought that being a zombie can be a good thing. But, you just think it in as completely different angle. AMAZING CONTENT AND IDEAS. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORTS MAN!!

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