A few logical reasons for not writing enough

Well, I don’t know about you, but my New Year’s resolution for writing more hasn’t worked out very well so far.

It has been a busy few months and I am way behind on writing. Thankfully, I have plenty of great reasons for why I have been so quiet lately.

With that in mind, here are my perfectly reasonable reasons for being so far behind on writing:

I am trying to be a minimalist – Isn’t less supposed to be more? Maybe the less writing I do, the better.

How can I write when there is so much drama in Washington, D.C.? – It is crazy to think about everything that happened in the last two or three months. I need to check social media every 5 minutes, which makes it hard to write.

I already wrote everything worth reading – Have you read my earlier posts? They speak for themselves (especially if you turn on a text to speech program). It’s hard to top greatness, and I have already covered most of the important topics of the century.

All of my writing is terrible – Have you read my earlier posts? What’s the point of continuing to write this drivel? How many times can I write about trash bags and paper towels?

Everyone else is better – Have you read the other posts on this website? I have read the work of so many great writers, and sometimes it is a little daunting to throw my text out there, too.

My hands are too cold – I can’t type like this. I should sit on my hands more and watch more videos on YouTube while I warm up.

I don’t have any good ideas – None of my ideas seem good enough to write right now.

Shouldn’t it be write and wrong instead of right and wrong? – When you think about it, our spelling of write and right seems to be backwards. I can’t be expected to come up with a good post when I am worried about all of this.

I have too many ideas and keep switching from topic to topic – I have good ideas about a recent power outage, words with a silent w, and paper towels.

I am worried about COVID-19 – I already wrote about COVID-19 related topics a few times. Surely, people want to read about something else. The only problem is that it seems like I am constantly thinking about COVID-19.

I have too much other work to do – I should focus on my main job, plus I need to take some time to clean up my office and other places in the house.

It’s too hot in here now – I can’t type in this heat.

What is that noise? I better go look – I think it was the cat, but I will listen closely for a while and won’t be able to focus on writing.

Maybe I should work on my other New Year’s Resolutions first – I haven’t made progress on any of them yet. The good news is that I have actually gained more weight in January, so when I finally get around to losing weight it will look more impressive.

The sun is in my eyes – I can’t write when it is too sunny in here.

Now it’s too dark in here – Why must my life be so difficult?

I read that writers need to write every day, but that seems like too much pressure – Maybe I should consider myself an “essayist” or a “columnist,” as I don’t think they need to write every day.

Maybe I am a “creator” – They at least get to take off every seventh day.

Now that you have read through my reasons, you can see why I have been unable to write anything.

I hope to post a column as soon as I have overcome these tremendous obstacles. And when I am once again free to write, you can be sure that you will read some outstanding prose from Nick Claussen!

Or, maybe I’ll just post something else about paper towels.

Thank you.