Top 5 Thanksgiving Foods

Thanksgiving meals are filled with great food items, but how do these foods stack up against each other (without touching of course)?

Which dish should you be most thankful for, and which should you say you don’t have enough room on your plate for right now?

I’ll come back for that when I have more room (not really).

Luckily, our judges have decided for you, so here are the Top 5 Thanksgiving Foods. But first, here are a few honorable mentions:

Stuffing – Many people love it and would vote it as No. 1, but our judges just don’t get it. Do I really want something that was cooked inside a raw turkey? Why can’t we just microwave it? Are stuffing and dressing the same thing? These issues need to be clarified. (Note: My wife says it’s obvious that I know nothing about cooking. I consider myself more well versed in eating.)

Green beans – They are a staple of Thanksgiving, but there are too many ways you can prepare green beans, so you have to be careful with what you are eating here. Until the Green Bean Commission decides on a set way for cooking green beans, they cannot make it into the Top 5.

Sweet potatoes/yams – I love sweet potatoes and/or yams, but I am not clear on if they are the same thing or not. Is it like how some parts of the country calls a fast food chain Hardee’s and others call it Carls Jr.? Or how sometimes you call a restaurant Frisch’s and other times it’s Big Boy? It certainly needs to be clarified if it ever wants to make it to the Top 5. Also, you run the risk of possibly not having brown sugar or marshmallows with your sweet yams. If that’s the case, what’s the point of eating them?

5. Pie – You’ve got to have pie for Thanksgiving. If your host brings out cake or some sort of cobbler, you should politely say you are full and then plan to bake and eat a whole pie when you get home. I love cherry, apple, chocolate, blueberry, peach, nectarine and many other pies, but pumpkin pie is at the top of the list for Thanksgiving, as long as you have whipped cream. If you have whipped cream and pumpkin pie, it’s like a roller coaster of goodness for your taste buds! If you don’t have whipped cream, though, it makes you think, “Wait a minute, I am eating a pumpkin!” Even so, pie is the perfect ending to a great Thanksgiving meal.

4. Cranberries – Cranberries are awesome. They are tasty, they can be prepared numerous delicious ways, they add color to your plate and they can quench your thirst without having to take time away from eating. To quote my friend Sam Lickert, they are crantastic!

3. Pizza – It’s good for every meal! Also, while it’s not a traditional Thanksgiving meal, it’s important to remember that you may not want to eat turkey for all of your meals on Thanksgiving, so it’s a good idea to have a frozen pizza or delivered (or DiGiourno if you want to fool your guests) for the other meal on Thanksgiving. Also, you can try putting some cold turkey on your pizza, or better yet, cranberries, which I bet would be awesome. I would love to try some craneronni pizza this year!

2. Turkey – While many expected turkey to be No. 1 this year, it should be proud to be at this spot. It is the traditional Thanksgiving main dish, it’s pretty tasty and everyone seems to love it. It also makes for good sandwiches. The drawbacks of turkey include how long it takes to make a turkey, the difficult cooking process (I imagine) and the fact that while it is very good, it is not great all by itself. Turkey is like frosting or Matt Damon, it’s very good, but it’s much better if it has something else to go with it. Turkey needs one item in particular.

1. Gravy – The No. 1 item in our countdown, gravy is the best part of the whole meal, and it really holds the whole thing together. It makes the potatoes great, it goes well with the turkey and it even looks festive when you are serving it. Gravy can even make the green beans taste better! It’s fun to make a small pond in your mashed potatoes for the gravy, and it’s a big moment in the meal when you break the mashed potatoes dam and the gravy spills over the rest of the plate. I’m getting a little misty-eyed just thinking about it. Sure, it’s a little messy, but it’s worth it. Our voters say gravy is groovy, and it’s No. 1 in the countdown. Congratulations gravy!

Any other food items you think should be in the Top 5? Feel free to comment below. Thanks.