Passing time while waiting in the airport

I spent several hours in the airport the other night waiting to pick up family members whose flight was delayed.

While there, I was able to ponder several important questions, such as:

  • Why do they have so many uncomfortable chairs here?
  • Why are escalators so much fun?
  • How much longer is this going to be?
  • Are some people really doing their Christmas shopping here?
  • Are the clocks even moving right now? What can I do to waste some time?

In order to waste time, I came up with some deep and insightful thoughts to share with you here about these important subjects:

The chairs

Airports have so many different types of chairs, but most of them are really not very comfortable when you have to sit in them for a long time. Many of them have stiff arm rests that get in the way, some are too hard, and some are just weird.

I should add that some are decent for relaxing or even sleeping, but for a place that is designed for people to wait around, most of the chairs really aren’t very comfortable.

What even is this chair? I couldn’t figure out how to sit on it.

The moving stairs and sidewalks

I don’t understand why anyone does not take the moving sidewalks at the airport. They are faster, fun and they make me feel important. I can’t be bothered with walking on the normal ground, I need the ground to move me!

It’s always disappointing, too, when you get off of the moving sidewalk and have to walk on the regular ground. Sigh, I guess I can have to walk like a regular person again. I think more places should have moving sidewalks.

Wouldn’t they be great at the grocery store for when you want to get your shopping done quickly? It would help you move through the store, and it would get slow moving shoppers out of the way.

Escalators are also fun. It’s fun to ride on stairs and look around at other people while you try to act like you are not looking at them.

Look I’m in a garden.

Things to do for fun

The airport I was waiting in had a lot of art in one hallway, so I took photos of myself in the artworks to see if I could look like I was in them.

I also was able to take photos of myself in other places in the airport just to try to look like I was in different situations.


Now I’m in the water!

Are you crazy! Have you seen the prices in the airport? I will buy a snack or something to read, but who is buying all of these other items? Some stores were suggesting people do their Christmas shopping there. I get that you have time to waste so you may want to shop, but who can afford to buy anything there?

If I had that much money, I would have just bought my own airplane so that I wouldn’t have to wait around in the airport all day.

People watching

This is great for passing the time, unless most of the people around you are sleeping. You can still make up stories in your head about the people you see, though.

One guy sleeping in one spot near me, for example, was definitely a former spy who now works as a llama farmer. One person was waiting for a long-lost sister, and another was an airport chair salesperson.

Writing a column

It may not be the best column ever written, but at least it was a good way to pass the time. Thanks for your help!

I did a lot of thinking!

What are your favorite foods for the holiday season?

Now that we are officially in the Holiday Season, it’s time to focus on what’s really important in life, food.

It is the most wonderful time of the year for eating, so I thought we should discuss some of the Top Holiday Foods today. Our list will share some of our judges’ favorite foods, with the Top 3 Food Items at the end of the list.

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Adventures in moving a sofa!

My wife and I recently bought a new sofa.

While I know this sounds fun and glamourous, it actually created much more work than I expected.

Our old sofa had served us well for many years. It was great for watching television, napping, serving as a bed when family members stayed at the house, acting as jumping pad for grandchildren and even taking on the role of a scratching post for our cat. That last part was frowned upon by my wife and me, but the cat had grown quite fond of it.

Our feline friend also enjoyed leaving her extra hair on the sofa, as well as knocking small items underneath it.

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Why is the self-checkout machine at the grocery store so bossy?

I don’t like the self-checkout at the store.

I don’t mind the idea of it, but the ones at my stores often seem to cause me extra problems.

For example, the one at the local CVS is so loud that everyone in the store can hear the price of everything I purchase.

“HELLO VALUED CUSTOMER!” it screams at me when I put in my CVS number. (Fun fact, my CVS number thinks my name is Wick Claussen. Every time I receive an email from CVS it begins “Dear Wick” and it makes me laugh.)

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A weekend at home turns into a drive across the country

Last weekend, I was all set to have a nice quiet few days at home.

I had dealt with a minor health problem for a few weeks and then had to work the two previous weekends. I was tired and I was ready for two slow days of working in the yard, doing some writing, watching television and relaxing.

So, of course, I drove from Ohio to New Mexico instead.

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I am a lot like Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos and I have a lot in common.

Bezos is the billionaire founder of Amazon who is known as the world’s richest man. In addition, he will be traveling into space this summer, and he is recognized for and wide for his amazing accomplishments.

So, as you can see, we are very similar.

Frankly, it’s a little eerie, and I am starting to wonder if we are somehow related. I will explain it here with these examples that show how we seem to be living pretty much the same life:

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A city in Georgia is building a giant chicken, but I don’t know if the idea will ever get off the ground

A city in Georgia is building a giant chicken in order to attract tourists.

Yes, you read the correctly.

I had to read the news story twice the other day when I first saw it.

According to this Associated Press article, the city of Fitzgerald, Georgia is building chicken that stands 62 feet tall. The giant chicken will also have plants growing out of its frame, so that it can be some sort of living chicken sculpture.

The city leaders believe that by spending so much money in this giant chicken plant, they will bring attention to their city, increase tourism and help the city with its economic development.

While it sounds like an amazing idea, I do have a few thoughts and questions about it:

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Miss Understanding, Sir Charge and other unfortunate pageant titles

It is always impressive when someone is honored with a title such as Miss America, Mr. Universe or Sir Something-Or-Other.

But those titles always make me think of other contests that would be an honor to win, but might also be confusing. Here are a few examples:

Miss Demeanor – The pageant winner who is pleasant and whose crimes aren’t too serious.

Sir Round – He’s everywhere!

Miss Print – Is this correct? Is this a Miss Print?

Sir Lee– The winner of the most unfriendly contest.

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