Here’s what Prince Harry and Meghan Markle should do next

While much of the world seems to be wondering what Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will do next, I would like to offer them a solution.

They are welcome to join my family.

Recently, the Royal Couple announced that they would distance themselves from the Royal Family and would work toward becoming financially independent. I think this sounds very good for them, and I admire them for making this big decision.

Since it is such a monumental change, though, I think they may need some help. And after carefully studying the situation, I am confident that joining my family makes the most sense for them.  Here are a few reasons why: Continue reading “Here’s what Prince Harry and Meghan Markle should do next”

I’m in a bad mood

I’m in a bad mood.

Don’t ask my why, as I don’t really feel like talking right now.

Oh, so you’re just going to sit there and keep reading anyway, huh. That’s ok, I can make small talk or even mid-sized talk if the situation presents itself.

How about this weather? It’s cold and rainy and blah. If it were warmer, I would be outside doing something fun. If it were colder, it would at least be snowing and it would look pretty outside.

Instead, it’s just miserable and stupid outside. Continue reading “I’m in a bad mood”

Happy Old Year!

While people around the world will be celebrating the new year on January 1, I thought it was important to first celebrate the year that was.

A lot happened in 2019. Some of it was great, some of it was sad, and honestly, some of it smelled funny.

So before begin watching giant balls of light drop in New York City and then rise again for some reason, here are a few thoughts I had on the last year. Continue reading “Happy Old Year!”

Turn signals should be named winkers, and other important thoughts

Did you ever notice how the names for everyday items often don’t make sense?

Or did you ever wonder about how winter clothing and cutlery seem to be related?

No?

Well, I have been pondering several of these incredibly important topics recently, and I thought I would share a few of them here with you today. Continue reading “Turn signals should be named winkers, and other important thoughts”

It’s amazing to see how one action can have so many extra positive benefits

This summer, I decided to shorten and thin out the hedges in the backyard.

I took on this challenge because I wanted to see if it would make the yard look larger and because I have been at war with the hedges for the past six years.

Sure, the hedges and I are often friendly to each other, but we both know what the other is thinking when we see each other.

“What an ugly eyesore for the yard,” the hedges often think about me.

“Is there a difference between hedges and bushes? Is it possible to have just one hedge? And why do I have to trim you so often?” I often think while looking at the tall green plants that are in a row in my yard. Continue reading “It’s amazing to see how one action can have so many extra positive benefits”

Where are all of our spoons? What am I eating? And even more of today’s greatest mysteries!

Life is filled with many great mysteries.

Sometimes they can be found in the kitchen, the grocery store or even the study. For example, how can anyone afford to have a study these days?

What are people studying in these rooms? Is there some work I’m supposed to be doing? I’ll be honest, I didn’t study that much when I actually was in school, and I don’t think I would do a very good job of studying now if I had a room devoted to it.

In addition to studiously studying studies, I have also pondered several other puzzling questions over the last few weeks, and I thought I would share a few of them with you here: Continue reading “Where are all of our spoons? What am I eating? And even more of today’s greatest mysteries!”

Congress needs to act to eliminate scented trash bags!

While government leaders discuss impeachment, interest rates and energy policy, I still keep accidentally purchasing “scented” trash bags at the grocery store!

Something definitely needs to be done about this, and I hope that Congress, the United Nations or the Avengers can do something soon about this ill-smelling injustice. This fragrant fraud must be stopped before it stinks again!

Why were scented trash bags invented and distributed? Is this another example of a foreign country trying to disrupt our way of life? Elections are one thing, but when they mess with my trash can, that’s where I draw the line! Continue reading “Congress needs to act to eliminate scented trash bags!”