It is always impressive when someone is honored with a title such as Miss America, Mr. Universe or Sir Something-Or-Other.
But those titles always make me think of other contests that would be an honor to win, but might also be confusing. Here are a few examples:
Miss Demeanor – The pageant winner who is pleasant and whose crimes aren’t too serious.
Sir Round – He’s everywhere!
Miss Print – Is this correct? Is this a Miss Print?
Sir Lee– The winner of the most unfriendly contest.
Miss Behavin’ – Ironically, the most famous song from this pageant is played for the runner-up, who is Ain’t Miss Behavin’.
Mr. E – Who will be the winner? It’s a Mister E!
Miss Trust – She has a lot of responsibility as Miss Trust. I’m sure she will do fine.
Sir Prize – Here is how the winner is announced: “Well, this is a Sir Prize!”
Miss Speller – I have been honored with the title of Miss Speller several times in life.
Sir Jury –If the other members of the jury trusts Sir Jury with guilt and innocence, you can trust Sir Jury with your life.
Miss Guided – A wonderful pageant winner with terrible advisors.
Sir Charge – Why does he always have to come along? We weren’t expecting a Sir Charge today.
Miss Appropriate – She looks perfect, but is terrible with money.
Sir Plus – Well, this is good news! We have a Sir Plus this year!
Miss Information – She has all of the answers, but they are all wrong.
Sir Yule – The King of Christmas! Best seen in a series of events, or with milk. (I will admit that this one was a stretch, but I liked it. Ideally, the winner would be announced by Miss Spoken)
Miss Understanding and Miss Interpret – Two amazing winners who are both very confusing.
Sir Mon – A terrific winner, but tends to go on and on with his remarks.
Miss Quoted and Miss Construed – More incredible winners, but their remarks are often not conveyed properly.
King Key – The best key maker in the land, but kind of a weird dude.
Miss Givings – She is very generous, but there is something about her that just feels wrong.
Sir Face – He has a beautiful look, but is there anything more to him?
Miss Fit – She is in amazing shape, and seems different somehow from the rest of the competitors.
Sir Pass – The best quarterback in the league, he is sure to beat all of the previous records.
Miss Remembered – I can never recall who won Miss Remembered.
Sir Miser – We can only assume that this stingy man is our winner..
Miss Representing – It’s always exciting to see who will be Miss Representing for us each year!
Sir Render – He can do a lot, including paying debts and making copies, but he gives up too quickly.
Miss Cast – She just doesn’t seem right for the part.
Sir Mount – This title is actually pretty good. He can overcome the tallest mountain.
Miss Takes – You can be confident that we will always have Miss Takes! In fact, this fine column that you just read may take home the title of today’s most foolish Miss Take!
Do you have any titles you’d like to add to the list? Feel free to comment below. Thanks!