I spent several hours in the airport the other night waiting to pick up family members whose flight was delayed.

While there, I was able to ponder several important questions, such as:

• Why do they have so many uncomfortable chairs here?
• Why are escalators so much fun?
• How much longer is this going to be?
• Are some people really doing their Christmas shopping here?
• Are the clocks even moving right now? What can I do to waste some time?

In order to waste time, I came up with some deep and insightful thoughts to share with you here about these important subjects:

The chairs

Airports have so many different types of chairs, but most of them are really not very comfortable when you have to sit in them for a long time. Many of them have stiff arm rests that get in the way, some are too hard, and some are just weird.

I should add that some are decent for relaxing or even sleeping, but for a place that is designed for people to wait around, most of the chairs really aren’t very comfortable.

The moving stairs and sidewalks

I don’t understand why anyone does not take the moving sidewalks at the airport. They are faster, fun and they make me feel important. I can’t be bothered with walking on the normal ground, I need the ground to move me!

It’s always disappointing, too, when you get off of the moving sidewalk and have to walk on the regular ground. Sigh, I guess I can have to walk like a regular person again. I think more places should have moving sidewalks.

Wouldn’t they be great at the grocery store for when you want to get your shopping done quickly? It would help you move through the store, and it would get slow moving shoppers out of the way.

Escalators are also fun. It’s fun to ride on stairs and look around at other people while you try to act like you are not looking at them.

Things to do for fun

The airport I was waiting in had a lot of art in one hallway, so I took photos of myself in the artworks to see if I could look like I was in them.

I also was able to take photos of myself in other places in the airport just to try to look like I was in different situations.

Shopping

Are you crazy! Have you seen the prices in the airport? I will buy a snack or something to read, but who is buying all of these other items? Some stores were suggesting people do their Christmas shopping there. I get that you have time to waste so you may want to shop, but who can afford to buy anything there?

If I had that much money, I would have just bought my own airplane so that I wouldn’t have to wait around in the airport all day.

People watching

This is great for passing the time, unless most of the people around you are sleeping. You can still make up stories in your head about the people you see, though.

One guy sleeping in one spot near me, for example, was definitely a former spy who now works as a llama farmer. One person was waiting for a long-lost sister, and another was an airport chair salesperson.

Writing a column

It may not be the best column ever written, but at least it was a good way to pass the time. Thanks for your help!