Traditional mail: Excitement in every package or are letters for babies?

My mail is usually pretty boring, but recently we received a pretty interesting delivery.

This letter was from the National Opinion Network – Infant Division, which led to several questions:

Do they have infants running a whole division at the National Opinion Network? How does that work? Is there a huge office full of babies working on these letters? What does their break room look like?

Why do infants want to know what I think? Do they want to be like me when they grow up? Maybe they just want to know where I think the pacifier is.

Or was the letter asking for the opinions of the infants in our family? If so, I can tell you that the opinions are generally that infants are hungry, sad, happy or tired. I doubt they have many opinions about national politics, but I imagine that it makes them sad or angry, as it does the same for me.

Do they want to know if the infants are pro-binky or anti-binky? Is there some sort of rattler controversy that I don’t know about? Do they want to know who is the cutest baby in the world? You are! You are!

I doubt that most infants will want to take the time to answer any surveys in the mail anyway. They may want to chew over the questions for a while, but I mean that literally.

Does the National Opinion Network also have a toddler division or a pet division? Our cat has some pretty strong opinions that I am sure she would like to share.

Sadly, this is the best piece of mail we have received at my house in quite some time.

I am amused every time that CVS sends items to us that are addressed to Wick Claussen, but even those letters are starting to grow tiresome.

It wasn’t that long ago that it was interesting every day to go to the mailbox to see what was delivered. We might receive letters from old friends, catalogues that showcased amazing Christmas gifts and even items that we sent away for from the back of a cereal box.

Granted, we do still get some fun things in the mail that we order online, and there are the occasional cards and letters from family members, but on most days our mail box only has a few bills, maybe some coupons and a dead June bug or two. June bugs love our mailbox, but sadly they love it a little too much.

I should add that we hear often from family and friends through emails, text messages and social media, and I agree that it’s a significant improvement over waiting for mail to arrive once a day in the hopes that it would include a fun or interesting letter. But while time marches on and progress changes the world again and again, it is a little sad to think about how simple items like the daily mail have evolved over the years.

Someday we will probably lament how email will be replaced by holograms or something like that, but for today I often find myself reflecting on the changes in regular mail. And even while our mail is usually pretty boring, I still hold onto the hopes of receiving letters from family members and friends, super cool toys advertised in comic books, and fan letters from any readers who are out there. Please?

If I receive any additional letters asking the opinions of my granddaughter, though, I will cherish that mail and will enjoy watching her studying the tough questions and then sleeping on them, literally.

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