Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans

I live in a small city, but lately I have been having an awful lot of interactions with wild animals.

About a week ago, for example, my neighbor stopped over to tell me how he and his wife had been watching a squirrel in my yard. While I don’t usually like the idea of my neighbors watching my yard (they might see me watching their yards!), I was interested in learning about how this squirrel had been working feverishly in a tree in my front yard, pulling off leaves and twigs, and then traveling back and forth on a utility line to a hole in my roof near the rain spout.

“That’s pretty neat, I wonder what he was doing?” I said stupidly.

“It’s actually pretty bad,” my neighbor said smartly. “She is probably making a nest. Squirrels can do a lot of damage if they get into your roof or walls.”

“Oh, that does sound bad,” I said. “I can only imagine what the moose would do if he got in there too.” Continue reading “Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans”

Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys

To say that I don’t know much about women is a little like saying that I don’t know much about cell phones.

I certainly like them a lot and am somewhat comfortable with them, I just have no idea how they work. Also, I often mess up with them, but really have no idea what I did wrong. Continue reading “Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys”

Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop

As a guy in his mid-40s (I know, I know, I look like I am in my 20s…) I often think that I am a strong, competent adult who is in control of his life.

And then I come home and clean up dog poop, scoop up cat litter, constantly open and close doors for pets and clean bird poop off of the television.

Sigh.

I love our family pets dearly, (on most days) and I get more out of the relationship than I put in, but they can be taxing. Speaking of getting out more than I put in for them, how do they make so much poop and how do the cats fill the litter boxes so full? I don’t think I feed them that much. Continue reading “Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop”