I’ll say it so you don’t have to

Often at the end of a long day, I will turn to my wife or the children and let them know that I am thinking the same thing they are.

“You’re welcome,” I say quietly.

They usually pretend to not know what I am talking about, but I know they must be thinking, “Thank you, Nick, for being such a great and cool husband/father/stepfather/pet owner/neighbor/writer/co-worker/athlete/model citizen/Muppets fan.”

I don’t mean to brag, but there’s really no way around it. I am pretty amazing.

Continue reading “I’ll say it so you don’t have to”

It’s fine to like like, but not it’s not like literally fine

Today, I literally heard people say the word “like” too often and in response I figuratively yelled, “Stop it” because I disliked it so much.

Like is magical word that can be a preposition, conjunction, noun, adjective or adverb. It is not, however, just a fill in word to be thrown in anywhere in a sentence for no apparent reason.

Continue reading “It’s fine to like like, but not it’s not like literally fine”

If you give a Nick a dripping sink…

The true story of a day spent working on a bathroom sink, as told in the style of the great book, “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”

If you give a Nick a dripping bathroom sink, he’ll ignore it for a while hoping that the drip will just go away.

When the drip doesn’t go away, he will eventually go the sink and take a few things apart to try to figure out what’s wrong.

When he takes the sink apart, he won’t be able to figure out what’s wrong, so he’ll put it back together.

Continue reading “If you give a Nick a dripping sink…”

A few thoughts on the joy of turning off lights, getting older and Pokemon Go-ing

When I woke up early this morning and jumped out of bed, I felt like I was ready to take on the world with song in my heart and a skip in my step.

“Ouch,” my song began. “That’s a lot of pain in my feet. And why do my legs hurt? That’s not so neat.” (I still need to work on the harmonies, but I think I’m off to a terrible start.)

More and more as I get older, I notice how getting up in the morning often hurts, how bending over to pick something up requires intricate planning, and how I make those “ooophhh” and ‘Umphff” noises way too often when I sit down.

Continue reading “A few thoughts on the joy of turning off lights, getting older and Pokemon Go-ing”

Top Five Recurring Dreams

Like many of you, I enjoy sleeping.

I do not, however, enjoy these recurring dreams that continue to interrupt my much more fun dreams like dunking a basketball and owning a llama farm.

Both of those are real, by the way. One is awesome, the other, quite confusing.

Our experts know that many other people also have recurring dreams, so we thought it would be best to rank them in order to help you better organize your sleep schedule.

Here then, is the Top Five Recurring Dreams.

Continue reading “Top Five Recurring Dreams”

A day when everything went perfectly, and it was terrifying!

Do you ever have one of those days when everything is going so well that it is starting to scare you?

That happened to me a few weeks ago, and frankly it still makes me a little bit nervous.

It was Father’s Day and nearly everything went perfectly. It sounds terrifying, right? I got to be so uncomfortable after a few hours that I was pretty sure I would be hit by a bus if many other things went right.

Why oh why do so many good things have to happen to me ?!?

The day started early in the morning, as many days do. Continue reading “A day when everything went perfectly, and it was terrifying!”

The grocery store: The reflection of a community, a place to visit with friends and, best of all, a home for comic books and Nutty Bars

I love going to the grocery store, I always have.

I don’t particularly like paying for groceries, but I like every other part of the experience.

It all started when I was a child and I would go to Bernicke’s grocery store in Napoleon, Ohio with my mom on Saturday mornings. At that time, I liked looking at the different food items, but mostly I liked looking at the comic books the store had on sale near the magazines. I can’t imagine why anyone would look at magazines when there were comic books nearby, but maybe they were just placed there to let adults look respectable if they were secretly looking at comic books while they pretended to look at magazines.

I spent a lot of time poring over the comics and my mom usually let me get one or two, since they were a good deal at that time. “Now only 35 cents!!!!” the covers of the comics often screamed to me. How could I pass that up? It was like throwing money away by not buying them! Continue reading “The grocery store: The reflection of a community, a place to visit with friends and, best of all, a home for comic books and Nutty Bars”

Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans

I live in a small city, but lately I have been having an awful lot of interactions with wild animals.

About a week ago, for example, my neighbor stopped over to tell me how he and his wife had been watching a squirrel in my yard. While I don’t usually like the idea of my neighbors watching my yard (they might see me watching their yards!), I was interested in learning about how this squirrel had been working feverishly in a tree in my front yard, pulling off leaves and twigs, and then traveling back and forth on a utility line to a hole in my roof near the rain spout.

“That’s pretty neat, I wonder what he was doing?” I said stupidly.

“It’s actually pretty bad,” my neighbor said smartly. “She is probably making a nest. Squirrels can do a lot of damage if they get into your roof or walls.”

“Oh, that does sound bad,” I said. “I can only imagine what the moose would do if he got in there too.” Continue reading “Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans”