Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans

I live in a small city, but lately I have been having an awful lot of interactions with wild animals.

About a week ago, for example, my neighbor stopped over to tell me how he and his wife had been watching a squirrel in my yard. While I don’t usually like the idea of my neighbors watching my yard (they might see me watching their yards!), I was interested in learning about how this squirrel had been working feverishly in a tree in my front yard, pulling off leaves and twigs, and then traveling back and forth on a utility line to a hole in my roof near the rain spout.

“That’s pretty neat, I wonder what he was doing?” I said stupidly.

“It’s actually pretty bad,” my neighbor said smartly. “She is probably making a nest. Squirrels can do a lot of damage if they get into your roof or walls.”

“Oh, that does sound bad,” I said. “I can only imagine what the moose would do if he got in there too.” Continue reading “Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans” →

Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys

To say that I don’t know much about women is a little like saying that I don’t know much about cell phones.

I certainly like them a lot and am somewhat comfortable with them, I just have no idea how they work. Also, I often mess up with them, but really have no idea what I did wrong. Continue reading “Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys” →

Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop

As a guy in his mid-40s (I know, I know, I look like I am in my 20s…) I often think that I am a strong, competent adult who is in control of his life.

And then I come home and clean up dog poop, scoop up cat litter, constantly open and close doors for pets and clean bird poop off of the television.

Sigh.

I love our family pets dearly, (on most days) and I get more out of the relationship than I put in, but they can be taxing. Speaking of getting out more than I put in for them, how do they make so much poop and how do the cats fill the litter boxes so full? I don’t think I feed them that much. Continue reading “Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop” →