The end of the election season brings up new questions and my lunch

The world has changed a great deal since the 2016 Presidential Campaign started back in 2014, but soon life will be getting back to normal.

Now that the election season is (hopefully) pretty much over, though, I wonder what we are all supposed to do with our time now? What should we do instead of worrying about how bad things will be if our candidate doesn’t win?

Am I expected to concentrate on work now?

What will we talk about at home?

Either candidate was sure to bring about the end of our country and it was a lot to stress about over the previous months and years. Just like you, I was worried about that one candidate being untrustworthy and a real jerk! And, yes, just like you, I was pulling for the one also who shared my values (sports and doughnuts), was concerned about jobs and wanted to help the children.

Frankly, I’m not sure why a candidate who hates jobs, children and pretty much the whole country wants to run for president in the first place, but according to the television advertisements, it’s the case for everyone running for President, Congress, Judge, County Commissioner and Dog Catcher. I heard one of the Dog Catcher candidates even once owned a cat! He hates dogs!

Anyway, the whole election cycle has really left me more befuddled than ever. Here are just a few of my questions and observations:

  • What will CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and the other channels do now? Will they even be on the air next week? Who will be watching? Aside from complaining about the winner, what will they talk about? If they immediately shift into talking about this year’s “Hot New Christmas Toys” I am going to be sick.
  • Has the federal government been doing anything for the past few months? Seriously, I have not really heard of anything being done in Congress in quite a while. Are they even meeting? What has the President been up to?
  • Along the same lines, I don’t remember what the major news stories were before the election dominated the coverage. Shouldn’t we be mad at Tom Cruise about something? Whatever happened with those skateboard/hovercraft things that were catching on fire?
  • What will people argue about on Facebook now?
  • How will we know which people to unfriend until we have another election?
  • Will people refriend each other now?
  • What will be the next great debate?
    • Marvel or DC? (Marvel)
    • Designated hitter: Yes or No? (Undecided)
    • Coke or Pepsi? (Third party pop)
  • How will televisions fill their advertising time? Does this mean we will be hearing about more carpet sales? It’s about time we had another one. Those guys just love selling carpet! I wonder if they ever sell anything for full price?
  • Who can we get to run for President in 2020?
    • Gary Busey?
    • Carrot Top?
    • Stone Cold Steve Austin?
    • That one Pope who retired?
    • Dennis Rodman?
    • Dr. Phil?
  • Who will call me or visit me at home to ask my opinion on important issues such as if I feel jobs are important?
  • If you have a business that makes campaign signs or posters, do you just take the next few months off? You’ve earned it by the way.
  • I guarantee that whichever candidate loses will show up on Saturday Night Live or some late night talk shows, and that candidate will be very funny and seem personable and we will all say, “Gee, I wish so and so would have done that during the election. That candidate might have won.”
  • Also, it really can’t be this hard to run for President, can it? If these two candidates can make so many obvious mistakes, c’mon anyone could do it.
  • Along the same lines, why couldn’t the Third Party candidates do better this year? Wasn’t this the exact situation they had been planning for?
  • How much are the campaign leaders being paid? You know they will now make careers out of being “Presidential Campaign Advisers” and will get book deals, give opinions on the news channels and be regarded as experts for years even though they ran terrible campaigns. It’s like if we all thought the “Clear Pepsi” manager was an expert just for having a high paying job at Pepsi, or if the person who invented the part that makes those new phones catch on fire for no reason becomes a highly paid consultant just for working at a phone company or inventing things that catch on fire easily.
  • I wonder if those phones are somehow related to those skateboard things that were catching on fire last Christmas.
  • Can you believe how terrible and bizarre this whole election cycle has been? Elections are often kind of crazy, but this one seems to be worse than most.
  • And perhaps scariest of all, after this election, what is the 2020 campaign going to be like? How can they make it any wackier? During the debates, will they make the candidates stand on those skateboard things?
  • Of course, if  you are looking forward to the 2020 campaign, you’ll only have to wait a year or so until the campaigning starts.
  • For me, I plan on taking advantage of this next year and enjoying not worrying about politics. Instead, I’ll focus more on my family and friends, take time to relax and try to remember why I was so mad at Tom Cruise.

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