The best Donald Trump facts column out there. Really, it’s great, super. Probably the best writing ever. Amazing work by me.

Now that Donald Trump is about to become our next President, I thought it was important to learn a little more about him.

This does not deal with politics, as I am fairly confident that he reads this blog and I do not want to be audited or have my domain name somehow shifted to a new online casino, even though it would undoubtedly be the best online casino ever.

The internet is filled with facts about our soon-to-be-president, here are a few I found interesting: 

He is a germophobe – I actually like this about him. He apparently hates shaking hands, and this is why he high fives people a lot or pulls them close in for hugs instead of handshakes. I don’t know about the hugging as that seems worse, but if he can make the fist bump the new national handshake, I would support that.

He does not drink alcohol, use tobacco or take drugs – Ironically, his election undoubtedly caused an increase in all of these.

He is in the WWE Hall of Fame and has been involved in several WWE feuds over the years – I think he should have used this more in the campaign or at least gotten Paul Heyman to cut a promo for him or asked Mean Gene Okerlund to moderate a debate.

Two of his three wives were not born in the U.S. – I don’t want to be political with this item, but I would like to point out that two of my wives were born in the U.S. Therefore, more Americans have wanted to marry me than Donald Trump! Take that Electoral College!

A few interesting points about two of his weddings – When he married Marla Maples, the wedding guests included Rosie O’Donnell, O.J. Simpson and Joy Behar. When he married Melania, the wedding guests included Bill and Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani and Barbara Walters. Most people have wedding guests they do not see again for years, but few guests go on to compete against their hosts for jobs or threaten to leave the country if they get certain jobs. Maybe they didn’t like the food at his receptions. You’ve got to serve coffee cake, otherwise, people will threaten to leave the country.

A few items of interest about his WWE activities – Trump was once involved in a hair match where if a certain wrestler had lost, Trump would have gotten his head shaved. Also, there is no actual WWE Hall of Fame. It’s hard to believe that they would have something that is not real (it’s not fake, it’s scripted!), but there is no WWE Hall of Fame for me to take my wife and family to visit. They are more crushed than someone receiving the Five Knuckle Shuffle.

He is the second U.S. President to have been divorced before taking office. –I wonder if he and Melania will get mail addressed to Marla Trump or Ivana Trump in the White House like every other divorced person gets mail addressed to their ex-spouses? Honey, here’s more coupons for your ex-wife! I will leave them with the Vice President to give to her the next time he runs errands for us.

He owned the New Jersey Generals in the USFL – He was not a founding owner, but bought into the pro football league in the 1980s and had some pretty good teams. Some blame him for the push to move the league to playing in the fall, though, which they say ultimately played a part in the league’s downfall. Go Panthers!

I expect the WWE to hold at least one pay per view in The White House sometime in next year or two – Get ready for the Roosevelt Room Rumble or the West Wing Whammy! It’s going to be some Oval Office Awesomeness, brother!

He has 20 acting credits on IMBD – These include appearing on The Jeffersons, The Nanny, Monk, Sex and The City, Zoolander, Sabrina The Teenage Witch (with Ringo Starr), The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and something called The Pickle.

He won a Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor for his role in the film, “Ghosts Can’t Do It,” in which he played the role of Donald Trump. It’s hard to believe that someone wouldn’t believe him…

If you play Euchre, you know that Trump is a big deal. Probably the biggest! Never turn down trump! Trump outranks other suits in cards, and now it outranks other suits in politics, too.

Also, according to Dictionary.com, trump means “to excel: surpass; outdo” which Trump supporters probably enjoy.

At the same time, though, it also states that “trump up” means “to devise deceitfully or dishonestly, as an accusation: fabricate.” We will have to see if that definition gets quickly changed to “to make something the bestest best ever.”

Also, just out of curiosity I also looked up “Donald” on the same website and here is the definition it gave – “A male given name: from Celtic words meaning ‘world’ and ‘power.’” Those sneaky Celtics got us again!

His nickname is “The Donald.” – Really, it’s a terrible nickname, right? Someone just put “The” in front of his name. That’s not really a nickname. It sounds more like a Cleveland sports curse like The Drive, The Shot and now The Donald.

As someone who understands how WWE works, I am fairly certain that Trump will have a face turn (good guy turns bad or bad guy turns good) at some point during his time in office.

When he eats pizza, he scrapes the toppings off and he does not eat the dough. – That just seems weird. Why even eat pizza then? Why not just get pasta?

During most nights of the campaign, he and Hillary Clinton each flew to their homes rather than staying in hotels every night. It amazes me they would be across the country every day but then be home that night. I have a hard time getting home on time and I live 5 minutes from my job.

He has his own board game, “Trump: The Game.” – While that seems impossible, so does the fact that he is about to become President. Seriously, Donald Trump is going to be president! It’s crazier than a WWE storyline. Who will win and who will lose? We’re about to find out.

One thought on “The best Donald Trump facts column out there. Really, it’s great, super. Probably the best writing ever. Amazing work by me.

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