A few thoughts about Super Bowl 51: A historic grudge match named after a toy

A few points of interest to help you get ready for this year’s Super Bowl!

  • This year’s big game is Super Bowl LI, which is pronounced Super Bowly.
  • This is the second Super Bowl for the Atlanta Falcons, who played their first game in 1966.

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  • Falcons can fly at speeds up to 220 miles per hour, which is crazy if you think about how fast that really is.
  • Where do falcons have to go in such a hurry? What could be so important to falcons?
  • One answer is that falcons eat birds and “other things that fly,” as I found online. I am assuming that “other things that fly” means bats or bugs and not kites or Frisbees, although that would be awesome.
  • A baby falcon is called an eyas, which seems like a terrible name. Maybe that’s why falcons fly so fast, they are trying to get away from their past.
  • Aren’t we all?
  • Sorry, got a little deep there.
  • The Blue Falcon was the hero in my favorite cartoon in the 1970s, “Dynomutt, Dog Wonder.” Dynomutt was Scooby-Doo’s cousin, and he and The Blue Falcon lived in The Falcon Lair, drove the Falconcar and had a bunch of gadgets that were much cooler than anything Batman ever had.dynomutt_blue_falcon
  • This will be the ninth Super Bowl appearance for the New England Patriots, who played their first game in 1960 when they were known as the Boston Patriots and were in the American Football League.
  • They became the New England Patriots in 1970. They are named for New England, which is the area made up of the states of Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont.
  • You’d think that after nearly 400 years, we wouldn’t need to call it “New” anymore. It’s like when I drive my “new” car. It’s not really new at all, and it’s not much like the old car. I bet Old England is getting tired of constantly hearing about New England and its fancy football team.
  • Why not rename it Old America, Belichickland or Walhbergia?
  • The Patriots are led by quarterback Tom Brady, who was recruited in high school to play professional baseball for the Montreal Expos. He went on to play football at the University of Michigan, where he served as a backup for Brian Griese and Scott Driesbach, had one year as a full-time starter and then split time during his senior year with Drew Henson, who actually did go on to play professional baseball.
  • Many people believe that Brady, who is considered by some to be the best quarterback ever, was originally inspired to play football by the Brady Bunch quarterback heroics of Greg Brady.
  • Ok, “many people” may be a stretch, but I like to think that it’s true.
  • The Falcons are led by quarterback Matt Ryan, who is also known as Matty Ice.
  • While they share the same last name, he is not related to Vanilla Ice, who I believe was inspired to become a musician after hearing Greg Brady singing as the star “Johnny Bravo.”
  • Ryan played college football in New England for Boston College.
  • He also played his high school football at the William Pen Charter School, a private Quaker institution in Philadelphia founded by William Penn in 1689.
  • Many Quakers were persecuted in New England in the 1600s.
  • Therefore, this Super Bowl has more than 400 years of build up.
  • The Patriots are coached by Bill Belichick, who is considered to be one of the greatest, if not the best, NFL coach of all time.
  • It’s amazing to watch this coaching genius outsmart other teams and take teams with marginal players to the Super Bowl and then realize that even he couldn’t win with the Cleveland Browns.
  • In the five seasons he coached in Cleveland, Belichick only had one winning season and had a record of 36-44.
  • And while that record is bad, Belichick has the most wins and the best winning percentage of any Cleveland Browns head coach in nearly 30 years. He also has the fifth most wins of any Cleveland Browns coach ever.
  • As a head coach, Belichick was basically traded from the New York Jets to the New England Patriots for several draft picks.
  • Belichick is now an official word in Urbandictionary.com. It means “to cut the sleeves off of a garment, with complete disregard to evenness, uniformity or style,” due to the great way that he cuts and wears his hoodies.bill
  • Belichick is a polarizing figure and people will usually say they either love him or hate him when they seem him on Super Bowl Sunday.
  • The Falcons are coached by Dan Quinn, who usually inspires this response when shown on television, “Who’s that guy? He’s the coach? He looks like my buddy Dave Jackson (or other friends named Dave.)”
  • Much like Star Wars, the first official Super Bowl was chapter 4 or IV. The previous three Super Bowls were called championship games. The first two were not too exciting, but at least the third had a lot of build up and an exciting ending.
  • If you want to create an iconic story or event, always start with Chapter 4.
  • The inspiration for the name Super Bowl came from the popular Super Ball toy. I am not making that up. I only wish other sports would have followed suit.
  • In golf we could use the Silly Putter.
  • Major League Baseball could call their postseason the Play Doh Offs.
  • Downhill skiing could have the Slip and Slide Slalom.
  • This Super Bowl promises to get great ratings and be exciting television! It may not be as exciting television as Dynomutt solving crimes or the Brady kids singing “Sunshine Day,” (or perhaps some references that aren’t 40 years old….) but hopefully we’ll get to see a coach and plenty of fans Belichiking sweatshirts while highly-paid athletes try to catch flying things thrown by a former baseball player in the Super Bowly played in Old Texas (New Texas was a colony founded in Brazil by Confederates after the Civil War).

Any thoughts on the big game or Dynomutt? Feel free to comment below. Thanks!

3 thoughts on “A few thoughts about Super Bowl 51: A historic grudge match named after a toy

  1. Okay, THIS was a riot. And considering I care less about football (yes, even the Super Bowl) than any human I know, it’s saying a lot that you even got me to care about this topic. Love your writing style!

    Like

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