Wrong things to say in a job interview

With spring almost here, many young people around the country will soon be applying for jobs.

Lots of people tell job seekers what to say in an interview and how to act, but I’ve found that most people just want to know what not to say or do.

So, in order to help today’s job seekers succeed, I have put together a list of the wrong things to say and/or do in a job interview. You’re welcome.

  • “I love your toupee.”
  • “My mom has the same shirt as you.”
  • “It’s ok if my cat walks around in here, right?” while petting your cat in an evil manner.
  • “Let me guess, you had pizza for lunch.”
  • “Is it ok if I eat this potato during the interview?
  • “No, I can’t think of any faults to work on or anything to improve on. (I actually said something like that once in a job interview for a position that I did not get, even though I was perfect and truly had nothing to work on.)
  • “Does the health insurance plan here cover haircuts?”
  • “What are you looking at?
  • “I think I had a dream about you last night.”
  • Don’t say anything about it, but just start trimming your toenails during the interview.
  • “I believe very strongly in doing less with more, and I believe I can bring that philosophy here to your organization.
  • “If I get this position, do I need to bring in my own toilet paper or do you provide that here for your employees?”
  • “What is your policy on naps?”
  • “Sorry about my cat, he’s usually nice to people unless they are stupid jerks.”
  • “Who did your nose job? “
  • “What sets me apart from the other applicants? I can tell you in two words. Three nipples.”
  • “My hobbies include sandwiches, collecting old pencil erasers and galloping.
  • “As luck would have it, all of my highly respected references currently have their phones broken, so they said you could just call them on my phone.”
  • “I’d like to answer that question in the form of a limerick.
    • There once was an applicant who was great;
      I’m sorry for getting here late.
      I really need this job;
      Or my mother will sob.
      And I’ll never go out on a date.
  • “Have you seen where my cat went?”
  • “I’m very good at gluing things together.”
  • “Which one of you took my pen?”
  • “I think you’ll be impressed when you see that I have done my resume completely in comic sans.”
  • “When you say 40 hours a week, is that right? Are there even 40 hours in a week?
  • “I am going to decline to answer that question under the grounds that I may incriminate myself.
  • “Will we be eating ice cream during this interview?”
  • “What are you eating under there?”
  • Yes, I do have a few questions for you. First are you colorblind? No, then why are you wearing that?
  • “This is just a fun question for you, I have lived in some interesting places around the world, and I have written down the names of them here for you, and I just want to see if you can pronounce them. It’s fun way for us to get to know each other a little better and I always like to hear how others pronounce these places that I hold close in my heart.” – Then, hand them each a piece of paper that says these locations and ask them to try to pronounce them.
    • Yirhyred.
    • Ugetthajob
    • Urkatcanstaytoo

Any other ideas of wrong things to say or do in a job interview? Feel free to comment below. Thanks.

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