How the Nick stole the time change

Every Who down in Whoville liked the time change a lot.
But the Nick who lived in Ohio certainly did not!

The Nick hated the time change! The whole time change season.
Now please don’t ask why! No one knows exactly the reason.

It could be perhaps, that his clocks wound too tight,
It could just be that he never adjusted them right.

But I think the most likely reason you can keep,
Is that the Nick was a person who wanted to sleep.

Continue reading “How the Nick stole the time change”

Top 5 terrible names for everyday items

I often marvel at the outstanding quality of names of different items. When you think about a nose, printer or teeter-totter, for example, those names seem to fit perfectly.
What else would you call a nose ? A smell canal? Facial tip? No! Nose knows no sufficient peer!

Also, the name teeter-totter is very descriptive and fun to say. Even the other name of see saw seems super.

At the same time, though, we have several rather bad names for items in the English language, and it’s time we fixed them. In order to help solve this colossal problem, our judges have put together this list of the Top 5 terrible names for everyday items.

Continue reading “Top 5 terrible names for everyday items”

The Mystery of the Missing Peanut Butter

As I walked into the kitchen on a dark and dreary Tuesday evening, I was greeted by the sounds of mysterious creaking and moaning.

“Is that the floorboard or my knees?” I asked myself in my best tough guy detective voice. “We don’t have time for that right now, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

I don’t actually know how to fry fish or understand why you would want to fry the bigger fish before the smaller fish, so I forged on with my noble quest. Continue reading “The Mystery of the Missing Peanut Butter”

Heteronyms and homographs prove that you can lead a horse to a can of water, but you can’t make him use a lead pencil

It must be difficult to moderate even the moderate portions of the English language.

The language is tricky to read because words often have different meanings and sounds between the first and second times they are read. This tends to make even some of our most distinguished words difficult to distinguish. Often, the buffet of pronunciations buffets and torments me.

If reading content makes you content, then you should know that homographs are words that are spelled the same but have different meanings, while heteronyms are words that are spelled the same but have different meanings and pronunciations.

I was thinking about this while studying my profile in the mirror today for a minute, so I decided to profile a few of these words in a short (some might even say minute) story. I have yet to perfect my writing skills so that I can write the perfect story, though, so I hope that my subject matter here does not subject you to boredom. Continue reading “Heteronyms and homographs prove that you can lead a horse to a can of water, but you can’t make him use a lead pencil”