‘What are you thankful for?’ results in some very different responses

Now that the Holiday Season is upon us, we asked a wide range of individuals the same question about thankfulness in order to see what type of responses we would receive. Here is our question and the responses:

During this Holiday Season, what are you thankful for?

Character in any holiday movie you may watch this year –I’m thankful that I can be a selfish jerk who is too hung up on work and/or past relationship problems for years, but once I learn a valuable lesson everyone forgives me, I fall in love and I sometimes even get that toy I wanted to Christmas when I was 7.

Referees – I’m thankful that these striped shirts are so slimming.

Old Scrooge – I’m thankful Marley died before me so he could haunt me and then I could be fine. I bet he wishes I would have died first and haunted him.

President – Shouldn’t everyone be thanking me? If not me, then either I am thankful for ketchup on my turkey, or I am thankful that the country has me.

Grocery story bagger – I’m thankful that hardly anyone ever selects “paper.” That would completely change my work here.

TV weatherperson – I’m thankful that I can make expert predictions every day and then no one remembers if I was wrong or not. I am also thankful for the phrase, “partly cloudy,” which can be used in nearly every day.

Coffee cup industry official – Coffee. Without coffee, we would be in big trouble.

Political pundit – Perhaps that question should be who is to blame for the items that we are not thankful for this year? And frankly, by asking the original question, it seems to me that you are to blame! This is the type of extremism that is causing the downfall of our society, and I am shocked that you would stoop to that level!

Eggnog industry official – Are you kidding? Can you believe our luck? We’re thankful people buy enough of this stuff during one month of the year to keep us afloat.  I still can’t believe people buy this!

My cat – What do I have to be thankful for? You are starving me! Why are you so mean? I suppose I am thankful that you have turned that evil vacuum cleaner off! Now leave me so I may throw up on the rug.

The washing machine – My good friend the dryer, who completes me.

The dryer – Clotheslines.

English Teacher – Do you mean to say, “What are some reasons for giving thanks?” And if you write this down, make sure to get the exclamation marks figured out correctly with the quotation marks.

Teenager – What? Oh, you’re welcome.

The washing machine – What did the dryer say? Clotheslines? After all we’ve been through? I do all of the work of the cleaning and then the dryer gets all of the glory with the warm clothes that are ready to be put away! That really spins my cycle! The dryer would be nowhere without me. What would it do, just dry the mud on your pants? Well, then I’m thankful for laundry detergent.

Public relations official – Well, of course, I’m thankful for all of the items that we are thankful for this year, while remaining mindful, of course, of those items that we are not thankful for yet. Thank you for asking the question, too! That’s an excellent question. I am especially thankful for the support of our staff, management, and most importantly and significantly, the general public as we thankfully move forward in our progress of reaching our initiatives with thankfulness.

The dryer – I didn’t mean anything by it. Of course I love the washing machine. I am just thankful that clotheslines help me with my work sometimes, that’s all. Whose idea was this question anyway? Why are starting trouble? Maybe you shut your lint trap for a while and do something productive instead of writing these controversial posts.

Philosophy teacher – What is thanks anyway? Is it better to be thankful for something or to give others a reason to thank you? And can anyone ever truly be full of thanks? Is there a limit to how much thanks one person can hold?

Gas station attendant from the 1970s – Did you say you want a tank full?

Nick Claussen –My family/friends, doughnuts, and anyone who reads this blog and puts up with me writing about items like arguments between washers and dryers.

Do you have any voices to add to our survey? If so, feel free to add them below. Thanks!