If it’s December, that means it’s time for the annual Best of the Year awards. In the hopes of having this list named to one of the Best Lists of 2018 lists, here are our Best of 2018 Awards:
Best Picture – I am terrible at drawing pictures, but I drew a nice stick figure during a meeting in June. The sun was shining over the guy while he looked at the flowers. That was the best picture I drew. It was a long meeting.
Best Letter – The best letter of the year was B. Without B, where would we be? You couldn’t celebrate your birthday, only Earth Day. If you were tired, you couldn’t go to bed, you could only go to Ed. And when it is time to leave, you couldn’t say goodbye, just goody. You’d be stuck spending a goody Earth Day with Ed.
Best Ocean – This is a tie between the Southern and Billy. I did not realize until I started writing this that there is a Southern Ocean. I thought there were four oceans. How did this ocean suddenly show up? I feel like there should have been more news about this. By virtue of it being the “newest” ocean, this majestic body of water finished tied for first place for 2018 with the always classic Billy Ocean and his majestic songs such as “Suddenly,” “Loverboy,” or the classic “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car.” Both oceans can make me misty eyed.
Best Thumbtacks – Pushpins win this award for 2018, although they need to be colored. Clear pushpins are too easy to step on if they are on the floor. Also, the old, flat thumbtacks are too hard to take out of boards. They way they can hurt your fingers, they should be called thumb takes.
Best Television – I’d say it was our upstairs television this year. We got a Roku we can use on it, and I like it so far even though I don’t yet understand it.
Best Nation – In this controversial and hotly contested contest, we’ll award the award for Best Nation of 2018 to Hibernation. That’s all I want to do this winter. It was followed closely by consternation, as we had plenty of that in 2018.
Best State – In a related contest, the Best State of 2018 goes to the state of relaxation.
Best word I like to repeat when I hear a credit card machine say it – Pinpad. For some reason, I enjoy the way the machines say “pinpad.” Listen to it next time. I always repeat “pinpad” a few times. It was the best word I liked to repeat every time a credit card machine said it in 2018. Pinpad!
Best way to pronounce 2018 of 2018 – The winner is “20-18” followed closely by “2,000 and 18”. Next year, I would like to try saying “2-01-9.”
Best Coin – The quarter wins this, as pennies and nickles don’t have a ton of uses anymore, and dimes are just too small. Shouldn’t pennies be smaller than dimes? Quarters had a strong four quarters of 2018, and you can always count on your quarterback or your quarter horse when you need them. You can even measure a quart or two of your favorite liquid when you are thirsty. Yes, quarters are the best coins of 2018. Congratulations!
Best foot – Whichever one you put forward.
Best Best – When Philadelphia bested New England in the Super Bowl. If Philadelphia wants to be the best team in 2019, though, the team best start winning more games.
Best Worst of 2018 – Bratwurst, and it’s not even close. I had some really good bratwurst in the last year, and I’m frankly afraid to eat liverwurst and other wurst foods.
Best Blog of 2018 – If you wrote a blog in 2018, then I’d say that was the best one because you wrote it. Be proud of what you wrote. I love reading the different blogs online, even if it is tough to keep up with my reading at times. And if you haven’t been writing lately, well, I hope you will write more in 2019. It’s a challenge to put quality posts out there (just look at this post, for example), but I and many others are looking forward to reading your ideas and thoughts in the new year. As for my blog, well it’s an honor just to be nominated. Here’s hoping for a big year for all of us in 2-01-9!