Here’s how windy it was this week

It sure was windy in the last week. How windy? I’m glad you asked.

It was so windy that:

  • An English nanny landed on our roof.
  • I saw some children at the park flying a cat.
  • I threw a Frisbee to Indiana.
  • I nearly broke my windbreaker.
  • I was worried that the Christmas lights on my house might get knocked down.

  • I think that if the wind was behind me, I could have actually hit a homerun.
  • I was concerned I would get hit by a flying shark.
  • My hair almost got messed up.
  • I was trying to read the newspaper, but it blew away. Even worse, I was reading it on the computer at the time.
  • Bob Dylan found all the answers he needed.
  • I finally got all of last fall’s leaves out of my yard.
  • The wind messed up my jump shot in my basketball game, and I was playing indoors at the time.
  • I saw the hat blow off of a statue.
  • I found myself craving a Frosty.
  • Bob Seger said he’d run with the wind this time.
  • My troubles all blew away, which was great. The only problem was that someone else’s troubles from about three blocks away blew in.
  • It sounded several times like my house was about to take off.
  • When I went outside after the wind died down, I checked to make sure that the house hadn’t landed on any witches.
  • I doubt a Star Wars lightsaber would work in that wind.
  • I was extremely nervous while thinking about the wind speed; I guess you could say that my mind was tied up in knots.
  • Some homeless pigs stopped at my door asking where they could get some bricks.
  • The first half of my jog was super slow, but the last half was as fast as I have run in years.
  • I went to jump over a puddle and accidentally leapt over my car.
  • I was worried the neighbors would call the police for a noise violation due to all of the wind chimes on our street.
  • I spent way too much time thinking about the wind, which made this column a breeze.

4 thoughts on “Here’s how windy it was this week

  1. Bob Dylan found all the answers he needed 😂
    I don’t know how you come up with these, I love this post.

    Also, while jogging, did you also have the weird sensation of not being able to move your legs fast enough to keep up with your speed?

    Liked by 1 person

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