Tag: humor

Top Five Reasons to Secretly Listen to Air Supply

~ nickc324 ~ 3 Comments

The band Air Supply is best-known for cheesy ballads that were popular in the 1970s and 1980s, and is too often forgotten about today. But while the band may be corny and uncool, their music is awesome (in a corny, cheesy and uncool way).

While many people love the band, though, we fans (Air Suppliers) can’t just go around singing Air Supply tunes or getting Air Supply tattoos because the greater population does not understand the greatness of the group. I don’t understand the greater population.
In order to help spread the word about Air Supply and to encourage you in your appreciation of all things Air Supply, I have compiled the Top Five Reasons Secretly Listen To  Air Supply. Continue reading “Top Five Reasons to Secretly Listen to Air Supply” →

Top Five Words That Should Be Eliminated

~ nickc324 ~ 4 Comments
The English language has a plethora of words that should be eliminated, or at least not used in conversation quite so often. Some people, for example, might not like the word plethora. I think it is permissible if it is used sparingly, but it is annoying if people use it plethorally.
In order to help the American people, I have come up with the Top Five Words that truly should be eliminated. I should add, though, that in the future I may add another five, as there are numerous words that people use way too often and these are mainly just the ones that are bothering me today.
Here now are the Top Five Words That We Should Eliminate (or at least stop using so often).

Continue reading “Top Five Words That Should Be Eliminated” →

The grocery store: The reflection of a community, a place to visit with friends and, best of all, a home for comic books and Nutty Bars

~ nickc324 ~ 4 Comments

I love going to the grocery store, I always have.

I don’t particularly like paying for groceries, but I like every other part of the experience.

It all started when I was a child and I would go to Bernicke’s grocery store in Napoleon, Ohio with my mom on Saturday mornings. At that time, I liked looking at the different food items, but mostly I liked looking at the comic books the store had on sale near the magazines. I can’t imagine why anyone would look at magazines when there were comic books nearby, but maybe they were just placed there to let adults look respectable if they were secretly looking at comic books while they pretended to look at magazines.

I spent a lot of time poring over the comics and my mom usually let me get one or two, since they were a good deal at that time. “Now only 35 cents!!!!” the covers of the comics often screamed to me. How could I pass that up? It was like throwing money away by not buying them! Continue reading “The grocery store: The reflection of a community, a place to visit with friends and, best of all, a home for comic books and Nutty Bars” →

Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans

~ nickc324 ~ 2 Comments

I live in a small city, but lately I have been having an awful lot of interactions with wild animals.

About a week ago, for example, my neighbor stopped over to tell me how he and his wife had been watching a squirrel in my yard. While I don’t usually like the idea of my neighbors watching my yard (they might see me watching their yards!), I was interested in learning about how this squirrel had been working feverishly in a tree in my front yard, pulling off leaves and twigs, and then traveling back and forth on a utility line to a hole in my roof near the rain spout.

“That’s pretty neat, I wonder what he was doing?” I said stupidly.

“It’s actually pretty bad,” my neighbor said smartly. “She is probably making a nest. Squirrels can do a lot of damage if they get into your roof or walls.”

“Oh, that does sound bad,” I said. “I can only imagine what the moose would do if he got in there too.” Continue reading “Reason No. 23 I hate being an adult: I have to be ‘brave’ and deal with wild animals, ladders and genius plans” →

The mostly true story of a historic moment in my soccer career

~ nickc324 ~ 1 Comment

Most Saturday mornings throughout the year, I get up early, get dressed and go play soccer in my local league.

My wife loves it when I wake her up with my talking, loudly getting dressed and then double and triple checking that I have all of my shin guards and cleats, but I always offer her some reassuring words that make her feel better.

“You knew what you were getting into when you married a big time athlete like me,” I say before she throws my shin guards at me. I know she is really just making sure I have everything I need, and it always inspires me to go out and be the best soccer player I can be!

Unfortunately, though, that player is not very good. Continue reading “The mostly true story of a historic moment in my soccer career” →

I have the perfect actor for the next James Bond movie

~ nickc324 ~ Leave a comment

After much deliberation, I have decided that I will accept the movie role of James Bond, 007.

I read this week that actor Daniel Craig understandably turned down $100 million to continue playing the role of Bond in the popular film series. I can’t say as I blame him as it all sounds awful. I imagine he felt rather insulted by the offer. Continue reading “I have the perfect actor for the next James Bond movie” →

Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys

~ nickc324 ~ 1 Comment

To say that I don’t know much about women is a little like saying that I don’t know much about cell phones.

I certainly like them a lot and am somewhat comfortable with them, I just have no idea how they work. Also, I often mess up with them, but really have no idea what I did wrong. Continue reading “Spending too much time in the makeup aisle has made me an expert on swimming pool toys” →

Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop

~ nickc324 ~ Leave a comment

As a guy in his mid-40s (I know, I know, I look like I am in my 20s…) I often think that I am a strong, competent adult who is in control of his life.

And then I come home and clean up dog poop, scoop up cat litter, constantly open and close doors for pets and clean bird poop off of the television.

Sigh.

I love our family pets dearly, (on most days) and I get more out of the relationship than I put in, but they can be taxing. Speaking of getting out more than I put in for them, how do they make so much poop and how do the cats fill the litter boxes so full? I don’t think I feed them that much. Continue reading “Pets can teach us a great deal, but they also make too much poop” →