Just like Kyrie Irving, I am requesting a trade

While much of the sports world has been debating the merits NBA star Kyrie Irving’s surprising request for a trade, I have decided to also request a trade.

Irving is one of my favorite players, and I’m sure that he would agree that I am just doing what is best for my brand. I need to look out for my family and my legacy, and right now that means doing what is best for Nick Claussen.

I have few simple requests: Continue reading “Just like Kyrie Irving, I am requesting a trade”

An open letter to the makers of MTN DEW KICKSTART

Dear DEW People (DEWers?)

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on the creation of your “KICKSTART” drinks. A remarkable advance in drinking technology, they truly take the energy drink/soda market to the next level. I don’t know how you DEWed it.

However, I must take issue with one recent development in the KICKSTART Universe (KU). Continue reading “An open letter to the makers of MTN DEW KICKSTART”