Top 5 Reasons This is a Bad Headline (not counting that I don’t actually have five reasons)

Writing headlines can be tricky.

Sometimes I feel like I have the perfect headline to draw readers in, and other times I struggle to find any suitable title so that I can post my article.

Some headlines impeccably encapsulate my eloquent and engaging posts, while others are just a few words thrown together to beg readers to peruse my prose.

This is something that I hope to improve upon with blogging, so I am adding it to my long list of needed improvements.

Recently, I wrote a headline for an article on things that annoy me about winter, and my editor friend Terry astutely pointed out a potential problem.

“Top Five Winter Annoyances (not counting the cold),” was the best I could come up with that day and it did make some sense to me. Terry mentioned, though, that while the headline was fine, it was like I was saying:

Top Five Problems With Bee Stings (not counting the pain)

This led to spending way too much time thinking up similar headlines that seemed funny and interesting, so I am sharing them here. Please feel free to add any below that you can think of:

  • Top Five Reasons To Go To Sleep (not counting being tired)
  • Top Five Reasons for Avoiding Hell (aside from burning for all of eternity)That one is Terry’s and is my favorite.
  • Top Five Elements To Breathe (not counting oxygen)
  • Top Five Reasons To Get Into Your Car (aside from needing to go somewhere) – To look for your cell phone, clean the car, listen to the radio, get warm and I don’t know why else.
  • Top Five Reasons To Mow The Lawn (aside from the grass being too high)
  • Top Five Reasons To Go To Wear Glasses (not counting the vision correction) – This one might be fun to write.
  • Top Five Places to Sit (not counting chairs)
  • Top Five Reasons To Save The World (not counting saving the lives of everyone on the planet and preserving the earth)
    • No. 5: We just got a new roof on the house, I would hate to have that go to waste.
    • No. 4: That would really stick it to my kindergarten teacher who thought I was a bad kid.
    • No. 3: All of my stuff is on earth.
    • No. 2: After saving the world, I would be allowed to cut in lines at amusement parks.
    • No. 1: It would make for a great blog post that would get a huge number of views and likes.
  • Top Five Reasons Not To Drink Poison (aside from the fact that it’s deadly)
  • Top Five Reasons For Me To Stop Writing These (aside from that it is getting old)

20 thoughts on “Top 5 Reasons This is a Bad Headline (not counting that I don’t actually have five reasons)

  1. Top 5 Reasons To Wear Clothes (other than avoiding an indecent exposure arrest)
    1) No one wants to see everyone naked
    2) Can you say awkward family dinners?
    3) Weddings just became something you don’t want to attend
    4) Don’t get me started on funerals
    5) The boss probably wouldn’t be happy either!


    Liked by 2 people

  2. How about: Top five reasons to not fight a bear with your bare hands (other than getting seriously damaged)
    Or: Top five reasons to not put your hand in the fireplace to see if the fire is hot (apart from getting burned)
    Or even: Top five reasons to not light a candle in the middle of the night to see if you turned the lights out before going to bed (apart from looking severely stupid)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Apart from the titles: there had been some problem with my blog. I fixed it but I see now that my comment needs moderation (which it shouldn’t, I suppose). Would you mind checking if you’re still following me?

    Top five reasons for following me (apart from sounding creepy).

    Liked by 2 people

      1. By mistake I linked myself to someone else’s blog who also had the nerve to be called SilentHour. Luckily one of my friends here told me he couldn’t navigate my blog, so I solved it by killing that other blog. But it was my fault.
        Unless something else has happened that is your fault and you don’t know how to tell me?

        Liked by 1 person

    1. There are countless reasons to follow your blog, first of all because it is great. I saw your blog name changed and there were other changes, but I am happy you got your problems fixed. The issue with the comment on this blog was my fault, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So here they are:

    Top five reasons to not fight a bear with your bare hands (apart from getting seriously damaged)

    1. You can’t win.
    2. You’ll lose. What a slap on your ego.
    3. It takes two to tango. The bear probably doesn’t know how to tango. So, when you realize that you’re losing, you can’t pretend that all you wanted was to dance with it, and have a happy ending. And even if the bear knew how to tango, it doesn’t count as one. More likely it counts as a hundred. Which means you’d find yourself dancing with a hundred partners at the same time. Poor you. You’ll be crushed.
    4. Your friends will think you’re an idiot; your enemies will rejoice.
    5. Your friends and your enemies will meet at a party and laugh at your expense, while you will be lying in bed, damaged, bandaged, unplummaged, and other words in -ed.

    Still, you may turn the tables, if you fight a bare with your bear hands. But how many chances are there?

    Liked by 1 person

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