Life is filled with many great mysteries.
Sometimes they can be found in the kitchen, the grocery store or even the study. For example, how can anyone afford to have a study these days?
What are people studying in these rooms? Is there some work I’m supposed to be doing? I’ll be honest, I didn’t study that much when I actually was in school, and I don’t think I would do a very good job of studying now if I had a room devoted to it.
In addition to studiously studying studies, I have also pondered several other puzzling questions over the last few weeks, and I thought I would share a few of them with you here:
Where in the world have all of our spoons gone? Seriously, we only seem to have like three regular spoons in the house now and it makes no sense. Are the kids taking them home with them? Are the neighbors borrowing them? Is there a spoon thief in the neighborhood? I have looked all around the house, thinking some were just left out, but I can’t figure it out. How did we lose a bunch of spoons?
Why do we have so many forks? At the same time, it seems like there isn’t enough room in the silverware fork slot for forks anymore. Are the spoons evolving into forks somehow? Did someone give us forks without me noticing? How did we get so many?
Who designed these silverware holding items that everyone has? I have never purchased one or seen anyone else buy one, but everyone has them. Is silverware legally required to be kept in a holder thing in a narrow drawer? Isn’t there a better design out there somewhere?
Why do we only have two bowls? I can understand if all of the kids were still at home and the bowls were in their rooms, or if a bunch of them were holding leftovers in the refrigerator, but that is not what is happening now. Did they all break? Did we loan them out with leftovers for kids or neighbors? Did they run away with the spoons? Do I need to watch for jumping cows now?
Why do we have so many backpacks in our house? It seemed like we needed to buy new backpacks each year when the kids were younger, but now we have at least seven perfectly good backpacks at different places around the house.
How long do I need to hold onto old computer or phone cords? I feel like I might need them, but I don’t really know what any of them work with. I may just move the pile into an empty backpack for the next 10 years and then think about it again in 2029.
Why do the grocery stores keep selling “mystery” foods? I recently saw “Mystery Mountain Dew” and “Mystery Oreos” in the store, and I don’t know why you would buy them. I’m certainly not going to pay for a box of pop when I don’t know what it tastes like. I might buy the Oreos, because it’s hard to go wrong with them, but what if the flavor is something “Grapefruit Oreos!” or “Double Stuffed Chicken Oreos!”?
Why do people want to crowd up behind me when I am unloading my groceries in the checkout lane at the grocery store? It won’t get you through the line any faster. I need somewhere to stand to first unload my groceries and then to pay, but the people behind me in line keep pushing up behind me like they are trying to get off of an airplane. It doesn’t make any sense.
How do we have four baseball gloves at home? I play softball, but haven’t played baseball in decades. None of the kids have played baseball in at least 10 years. Where were these gloves for the last 10 years that I am suddenly seeing them all now?
Why can’t we as a nation decide on the proper way to load the dishwasher? Everyone has a different theory, and if you go into someone’s home and try to put dishes in their dishwasher, I guarantee they will think you are doing it wrong
Why does thermostat temperature seem so different from outside temperature? If I’m outside and it’s 70 degrees, that is nearly perfect. If I am inside and the thermostat is set at 70 degrees, I am suffocating from the heat. If I’m outside and it’s 65 degrees, that is also nearly perfect. If I am inside and the thermostat is set at 65 degrees, I can’t feel my toes and it’s way too cold to try to type.
What’s in that cupboard we never use on the side of the kitchen? Do you have one of those, too? It’s either up too high or two low, or it’s over too far, so you don’t use it very often, and now you aren’t really sure what’s in there even. If mine is filled with spoons, I’m going to be mad, happy and very confused.
Do you have any great mysteries you’d like to share? Have you tried Mystery Mountain Dew? Do you know where my spoons are? Feel free to comment below. Thanks!
nickclaussen.com 
Who would ever want to play the mystery jelly belly eating game!?! You know the one where 2 jelly beans look the same but one tastes good and one tastes like puke, blows my mind! I can’t imagine even spending money on something that makes me want to puke, let alone tastes like puke in the first place. Who even has the money to waste on a puke flavored jelly bean!? (Don’t get me wrong, I wish I had money to blow on jelly beans!) How does jelly belly even come up with these flavors? Is it all the bottom of the barrel gunk that they mix together and sell as a “fun game” to make more money?
This was fun to read!
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Thanks! That’s a great point about the mystery jelly beans, too! I can’t understand why anyone would try those. Jelly beans aren’t that good anyway. Thanks again, and my apologies on the delay in responding here.
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I recently purchased Reese’s peanut butter cups in “mystery shapes.” I’m NOT sure why this is a thing. What’s with all the mystery things? Now, I love a good mystery (mostly British), but I’m not sure who decided we need mystery shapes and mystery flavors. However, I will tell you, regardless of shape, Reese’s peanut butter cups (or rectangles, triangles, and something that looks like a boot) are REALLY tasty.
Have you LOOKED in the backpacks? Any spoons in them? Bowls? I say pack the baseball gloves and extra forks in the backpacks and put them in that underused cabinet. Also, check with friends. Maybe someone has few forks but an abundance of spoons.
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Thanks! I would try mystery shapes Reese’s Cups, because I love Reese’s, but I don’t really care what the shape is. I will check the backpacks for the bowls, and I honestly had not even thought of looking in that cabinet yet. I will check that and report back. Thanks again!
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When we moved into the new house, I had to empty all the cupboards at the old house. I had to crawl in to retrieve items that had been stored at the very back. I found lots of stuff I hadn’t see in years. Perhaps you’ll eventually find those spoons in the way back of your kitchen cupboards.
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Thanks! It is pretty amazing how we can lose things in our own cabinets, and they can sit there for so long. I hope to find my spoons someday. It is a dream of mine. Thanks again!
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Love this, maybe your dishwasher like spoons like some people’s dryers like socks. Do you keep your spoons with your forks, there might be something going on after you turn out the lights, I personally keep my spoons on the counter in a jar, don’t want them mixing with the riff raff in the silverware drawer. I have a stupid cabinet above my fridge that is useless, filled with odds and ends we never use, great now I am going to have to clean that out. I will let you know if I find your spoons.
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Thanks! I wonder if some did get lost in the dishwasher, or if I somehow threw them away. Spoons in a jar on the counter is a good idea. I think i would like that more,and I may try that. Do let me know if you see my spoons. Thanks again!
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I’m equally unable to throw away old cables. Also, old camera lenses that are broken and fungus filled and old mobile (cell) phones. They used to be shiny, and still are, once dusted, and it seems wrong to just dispose of them, probably still working once charged (probably have the chargers and cables in another box) into some recycling centre.
They seem to deserve better than that but I don’t know what ‘better than that’ actually is. So I keep them. In a box in the garage. And in a box in a drawer in the study (I know right? Posh.). And some in a box in the loft. No spoons in any of them.
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Thanks! It is hard to throw away things like that. I’m sure I will need them, even though I don’t have any idea what most of those cords go, too. I am impressed that you have a study, too! It shows since you are an excellent writer. Thanks again!
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So this is where all the spoons came from!
I completely agree there should be some law concerning the proper way of loading a dishwasher. I am tired of not being able to make people happy.
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Thanks! I should have realized that you would have them! We will start a dishwasher movement,too, or maybe you can write a famous dishwasher-related poem that will help our cause. Thanks again!
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You are welcome, and the poem is a great idea!
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