In life, it is incredibly important to be honest and to be true to yourself.
However, I often find myself lying about movies I haven’t seen, pretending to know how something works, or not letting anyone know my opinions on some pretty mundane topics.
Usually, this is for no good reason except to avoid looking foolish, even though it is certainly more foolish to lie for no good reason. So, in order to clear my conscience, here are the a few things I wouldn’t normally admit.
- I think that lots of really popular music all sounds the same. I don’t mean just music that I don’t normally listen to or music from another generation either. Here are a few examples:
- John Williams is a famous composer and conductor who wrote the well-known songs for Star Wars, Superman, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and many other movies. The theme songs for the three movies I just named are all awesome, but aren’t they all pretty much the same tune with horns blasting? Am I the only one who hears this? I mix them up a lot. They even sound a little like the E.T. theme he did! I have never admitted that before, but it’s good to get that off my chest.
- I know people love the band Rush and that they are supposed to be awesome musically, but their songs all sound the same to me. I will choose free will and tell you that every Rush song sounds like every other Rush song.
- I like the Twenty One Pilots music, but I can’t tell one song from another.
- I don’t like guinea pigs. They scare me.
- I have no clue about most systems of measurement. I don’t understand anything about quarts, liters, ounces, or other items like that. How many ounces make a quart? Why do they sell drinks in liters and ounces? What is the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon? I honestly am not sure. I don’t know how other people know these things.
- I don’t really like Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin. I only like one song from each of those bands.
- I do like Billy Ocean.
- Getting back to John Williams, I’m really not sure what orchestra conductors do. I even have a brother who is a band director and I don’t understand it. He was always too smart for me anyway.
- I have never seen Footloose, The Shawshank Redemption, Caddyshack, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club or plenty of other movies that I have lied about in conversations. “Sure, I agree, it’s exactly like that scene in that movie. That’s awesome, good one,” I will say just trying to save face. I can’t let anyone know I have never seen Happy Gilmore! What would they think of me?
- At the same time, I can’t not watch The Parent Trap if it’s on TV. I don’t know how Lindsay Lohan played those two sisters so differently, but it is amazing! And when the parents discover they have the twin with them and not the daughter they have been raising, whoo, I get a little emotional every time. I’m not proud of it and I will change the channel if anyone comes into the room, but I will nearly always stop to watch those scenes. It’s like if the movie Die Hard is on and I have to watch it, but Die Hard is much more respectable.
- I don’t care about cars. I really don’t care what type of car I drive, as long as it runs decently and has a radio so I can sing along with classic and meaningful songs like “Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car.”
- I am terrible at grilling out and I don’t like doing it. I like eating food that has been cooked outside, but I don’t want to do the cooking because I am so bad at it.
- I don’t know anything about Kanye West except that he is married to a Kardashian. I hear he is either a musical genius or is a self-involved celebrity, but I honestly have no idea.
- I still don’t understand what Bluetooth is.
- I liked those High School Musical movies.
- I don’t like the movie Top Gun.
- I kind of liked Jar Jar Binks.
- I will eat brown sugar straight out of the bag. I love brown sugar.
- I like how cow manure smells. Now pig manure is awful and chicken manure is even worse, but I genuinely like the smell of cow manure. If I am in a car and we drive by cow manure, I will say with everyone else, “Ohh, Yuck. That’s awful,” but I secretly enjoy it.
- I love having my picture taken. Other people hate it so I’ll say, “Oh yeah, me too. I guess let’s just get this over with,” but I just want more photos. I always want to have my picture taken.
- I will continue to lie about most of these items in conversations.
What pointless things do you like about? Feel free to comment below. Thanks!