Like many people, I eat food nearly every day. While eating, though, I am often annoyed by foods that taste delicious but cause too many problems.
In order to address this situation, our judges have compiled the Top 5 Annoying Foods. First a few annoying honorable mentions:
Spaghetti – Our judges enjoy spaghetti, but there’s too much to think about while devouring this problematic pasta. Do you twirl the noodles around your fork? Do you just slurp them into your mouth? What about when they are tangled into a labyrinth of noodles and sauce so you can’t get the right amount on your fork? Is it ok to cut it? What if your meatball rolls onto the floor when somebody sneezes? It might roll right out the door! Spaghetti is too messy, far too complicated and only romantic if you are a cartoon dog.
Popcorn – Too much of it gets stuck in your teeth and you end up with numerous unpopped pieces that are about as enjoyable as eating rocks. Also, with movie popcorn, the butter never distributes evenly enough. The butter can also seep through the popcorn bag, which once led to an unfortunate grease spot on my pants while I was on a date. Oh popcorn, I love you, but why do you cause so much misery?
Sun Chips – Our judges love these mouth-watering chips, but the packaging is different from other chip bags and is extra loud. How are we expected to enjoy our chips in peace with all of that racket? And as for the chips, they are too large to put one into your mouth, so you have to break them and they end up making too many crumbs. This is a common problem with many chips, but it seems worse with these otherwise delightful snacks.
5. Corn – On the cob or not, I’ll give you an earful of complaints about corn. If you eat it on the cob, it’s always too hot for the first 15 minutes of your meal, the butter continually slides off, it can be a pain to pick up and it’s impossible to eat without getting half of it stuck in your teeth. And if you eat corn off of the cob, it’s too hard to pick up those last few kernels with your fork unless you use your hands. Why must you torment us corn?
4. Crunchy granola bars – Is it possible to take a bite out of a hard granola bar without much of the bar exploding into tiny pieces? Sadly, it is not possible. Not to mention, they give you two of the bars in the package, but usually half of one of the bars is already broken and is in pieces in the wrapper before you even open it. Granola bars, why must you be so exasperating?
3. Grapes with seeds – I love grapes, but hate it when I unknowingly bite into grapes with seeds. You spend most of the time trying to spit out the seeds, and you don’t really enjoy the grapes. Cherries face the same issue, but they are not quite as bad as grapes with seeds. While our judges understand the need for seeds and pits in order to grow more fruits, we still don’t like being troubled by them while eating. Also, why do seedless watermelons still have black seeds? Get it together fruits!
2. Barbecued Ribs – Ribs can be quite enticing, but when you spend most of the meal pulling apart bones, chewing furiously for the little bits of meat on each bone, and then covering your hands in sauce so that you can’t touch your glass, your shirt or even your disgusting napkin after a while, it’s quite frustrating. And why are there never enough napkins when you have barbecued ribs? Oh ribs, I love you, but you infuriate me!
1. Strawberry shakes with chunks of real strawberry (or smoothies with chunks of real fruit) – I love strawberries and cannot resist a strawberry shake, but I can’t stand the little chunks of strawberries that they often put into the shakes. According to one of our judges, the same thing goes with chunks of fruit in smoothies. Why are they in there? Is it just to make us work harder to drink a shake or smoothie? Is it funny to watch people sucking furiously at a straw trying to pull a strawberry chunk up? And what about when it does go up my straw? Then I just have to chew it, and that’s way too much work. Strawberry chunks are like the seeds of the shake world, and if I am drinking a shake and part it somehow gets stuck in my teeth, my mood falls apart faster than a crunchy granola bar.