Dates can be painful and confusing, yet also wonderful, memorable or dry.
I was thinking about dates the other day while looking at my calendar, and began to ponder the aspects of them that I like and dislike.
For example, I often laugh when I hear politicians saying they have a “mandate.” First of all, they usually don’t have one anyway because in most cases they didn’t get many more votes than the other candidates (or even the majority of votes in some cases).
Also, it just sounds funny to hear people say they have a “mandate.” Is that like a play date, but you go to a home improvement store, the golf course or barbershop?
On the other hand, I enjoy it when someone tells me I am dating myself. I relish my references from dates in the 1980s and I am confident that I would treat myself to a nice dinner if I actually were dating myself. I wouldn’t want flowers for my date, but I might like some nice dates to eat, as long as they weren’t dated.
I do remember when I had to postdate checks so that I would accommodate my bank account, but I fixed that problem by consolidating my dilapidated bank accounts and liquidating some assets so that none of my checks would be invalidated.
I didn’t mean to inundate you with date words so that you feel sedated, but I felt it was important to update you on a few of the date words that interest me, including several that predate me.
And now that I have possibly intimidated you with my use of date words, I would also like to nominate my candidate for the word with the most simple rhymes.
That word is Ale and/or Ail, which is surprisingly easy to rhyme with almost every consonant in the alphabet. Just to prove it and because I am obsessing on it now, here is a list of simple ail/ale words from going through the alphabet.
- Bale or Bail – One could use money to pay bail or for a bale.
- Cale is a name.
- Dale also a name and something you can travel over while also going over hills.
- Fail – Some would say that this whole post is a great example of a fail.
- Gale – Gail wishes that a gale force wind would blow this post away.
- Hail or Hale – A healthy and hale person might hail the good name of hail while hailing a cab.
- Jail – This post may be sent to the bad posts jail.
- Kale – Everyone loves and/or hates kale.
- Lale – I can’t find an English word for lale, but it is apparently a popular word in other languages.
- Male or Mail – The male mailman delivers the mail.
- Nail – Don’t nail your nail.
- Pale or Pail – Please put the nails in the pale pail.
- Quail – A type of bird. Quale is also apparently a word, but I am not sure how to use it correctly.
- Rail – Great for riding on or complaining vehemently.
- Sail or Sale – You can purchase a sail on sale.
- Tail or Tale – I love to tell the tale of tails.
- Vale and Veil – Val wore a veil when she was married in the lush vale near Vail.
- Whale – Well, that’s a whale of a whale out there in the ocean.
- Xale – Sadly, an English word for Xale is desperately needed. I think it should be a compliment, like awesome or fun, but also somewhat confusing and random.
- Yale – A fancy college where someone might write a thesis about “ale” words.
- Zale – A fancy jewelry store.
- In addition, there are countless other one syllable words such as shale, scale, trail and even snail that rhyme with the amazing ail and ale.
So, what have we learned from all of this?
Well for one thing, when writing a poem, you should use ale/ail words whenever possible and you should consider having your poem published in braille.
In addition, if you take your date to the date store, make sure the dates aren’t dated or they might be frail and stale.
And finally and most importantly we’ve learned that I created a very xale column today, which coincidentally, is xale’s birthdate.