What would really happen if the Thanos character in the Avengers movie succeeded in his plan to wipe out half of the universe?
If you haven’t seen the movie after all of these months, then I’m betting you won’t care that I am about to talk about spoilers here. If you do care about spoilers, you should stop here and read several of my other posts about important topics such as toasters, toes or every kiss beginning with the letter k.
Now then, in the Avengers movie, Thanos wipes out half of the universe, which certainly does seem like a bad thing. We see heroes dying, planes crashing and plenty of anguish over this terrible occurrence.
But what about the other repercussions of Thanos’ actions? I have been thinking way too much about this and have listed a few here:
- There’s no way the Golden State Warriors would have won the 2018 NBA title in the Marvel world – That team is built on having great depth and stars at every position. Losing half of their team would hurt them more than it would hurt most other teams. As long as LeBron James wasn’t among the Cleveland Cavaliers players turned to dust, I am confident that he could have carried a half-Cav team to the title!
- Parking would be much easier – Now I’m not saying it would be good to have half of the universe eliminated, but think about how many available parking spaces there would be. Granted, several would be filled with cars that were abandoned by people who disappeared, but I think it would be much easier to find an open space.
- Bands would be terrible – What if your favorite band was just left with the bass player and back up singers? If half of the Rolling Stones were wiped out, would they finally stop touring?
- Maybe you could stop paying your student loan or credit card debts – Chances are the debt companies would be understaffed, and maybe they would think you just turned to dust anyway.
- Seriously, would the Cavaliers even miss half of their players if they turned to dust? – As long as LeBron James did not turn to dust, of course.
- It would allow you to turn down invitations to dinner parties you didn’t want to attend – Sorry, I can’t go. I turned to dust.
- How would Adam Sandler make movies if half of his friends were wiped out? – I don’t even want to think about what it would mean to the world if Adam Sandler turned into dust.
- The grocery stores wouldn’t be so crowded on the weekend – You could get a cart easily, there wouldn’t be much of a wait to check out and you could park close to the store! Losing half of their employers and suppliers might make it hard to run the grocery stores, but hopefully they would figure that out.
- I would lose half of my readers – I don’t have any to spare!
- If Thanos wiped out half of every living thing, would that mean plants, too? – My lawn would be a mess, and the hedges would look terrible if they suddenly had big empty spaces after some of the bushes disappeared.
- Tandem bicycle sales would plummet – I imagine that you would also see a tumble in teeter-totter sales.
- Solitaire playing would skyrocket – But Uno playing would fall sharply.
- What would happen to the next Star Wars movie? – If half of the cast and crew were wiped out, how would they wrap up this series of movies? Curse you Thanos!
- What if half of all shoes were also eliminated? – Would we all be walking around in mismatched shoes? This is even worse than I had imagined!
- What would Penn or Teller do without the other? – Would Bill Belichick and Tom Brady be as successful if one of them disappeared?
- Would this mean more royal weddings? – Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
- How would Scooby Doo solve all of those mysteries with half of his friends gone? – Maybe there would be fewer mysteries, too. I am not sure. I will have to think a lot about this one.
- Broom and dustpan sales would go way up – All of those people turning to dust would make a big mess.
- What if Thanos had disappeared? – Wasn’t he worried about that?
- What if I had disappeared? – I would be mad that I still hadn’t written a book. I should use this as motivation. Or what if I was in the middle of a blog post when I disappeared? What would my readers do? I’d better finish this one right now just to be safe.