Category: Columns

Miss Understanding, Sir Charge and other unfortunate pageant titles

~ nickc324 ~ 8 Comments

It is always impressive when someone is honored with a title such as Miss America, Mr. Universe or Sir Something-Or-Other.

But those titles always make me think of other contests that would be an honor to win, but might also be confusing. Here are a few examples:

Miss Demeanor – The pageant winner who is pleasant and whose crimes aren’t too serious.

Sir Round – He’s everywhere!

Miss Print – Is this correct? Is this a Miss Print?

Sir Lee– The winner of the most unfriendly contest.

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A few thoughts on having COVID-19: I had a mild case, but it was no fun

~ nickc324 ~ 10 Comments

One fine day a few weeks ago, I worked from home like normal, went for a jog, worked out in the yard and then tested positive for COVID-19.

It was quite a day.

The day before I tested positive, I had a little cough. It was spring, though, and it is normal to cough in the spring. I didn’t think anything of it. I had already received my first COVID-19 vaccine shot and was feeling pretty confident. Also, my hair was looking perfect that day.

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Paper towels: Terrible at math, but terrific at cleaning up messes and playing music

~ nickc324 ~ 7 Comments

Paper towels have evolved past the point of my comprehension.

Paper towel math makes no sense, the types of sheets are too complex and I’m still not positive if I can use them in the microwave or not.

The only thing I know for sure, in fact, is that I can turn paper towels into desktop speakers.

In order to wipe away the confusion surrounding this controversial topic, I absorbed as much paper towel information as possible, and I am proud to share my bounty of findings here with you today. And yes, this includes information on turning your paper towels into desktop speakers.

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How much weight did I gain during this election? We won’t know until all of the pounds are counted

~ nickc324 ~ 10 Comments

This election has been stressful, meaningful and full-full.

I have eaten a lot!

But exactly how much weight have I gained? In order to find out, I talked to the election analysts on television who broke it all down for me. Here is what they had to say:

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Don’t believe the lyes! A few important questions about liquid hand soaps

~ nickc324 ~ 14 Comments

Like many people, I enjoy washing my hands.

Although to be clear, I don’t believe that most other people like washing my hands, they generally prefer to wash their own.

And in 2020, I have been washing my hands even more than usual. All of this hand washing, though, has caused plenty of hand wringing due to the handful of important issues involving liquid hand soap in the world today. 

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The price of progress

~ nickc324 ~ 5 Comments

Innovation can be awfully expensive.

Now, I realize there are a few good things about progress, but do you ever stop and think about how much we pay for items that used to be much less expensive or didn’t even exist at all?

I was pondering progress while studying the regress in my checking account today and came up with a few items to complain about, I mean to discuss with you:

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When life is getting you down, look up

~ nickc324 ~ 7 Comments

Some days, you just need to look ahead and look up.

I have been trying to remember that lately, as life seems pretty challenging at times.

  • The whole COVID-19 situation has changed life as we know it, at least for now, and it continues to go on and on.
  • The political situation in the country is insane.
  • And work seems to be busier and busier all of the time, which doesn’t leave as much time for writing.

But here I am today anyway, trying to make sense out of a few things that have been on my mind:

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