This is a test alert

THIS IS A TEST of the Nick Claussen Blog System. If this were an actual emergency, such as if I were out of cheesecake or doughnuts or if my television wasn’t working, you would have been instructed to bring me snacks or to invite me to your home to watch television and eat doughnuts.

Because this is a TEST of the Blog System, though, here are a few questions:

• Is it better to arrive at a meeting/event a little late or to leave a little early? When is the correct answer both?
• If I am already receiving text alerts from the county, city, schools, local emergency management agencies and statewide systems, what new information will a federal alert give me? I already receive 5 different alerts, in addition to facebook, twitter and email notifications, every time there is a storm in any part of the county, a school delay, a new road paving or a delay for my rec softball game. I even receive Snow Emergency Poems on days when school is cancelled. I should add that I like the local alerts and love the poems, I’m just not sure what these new alerts will tell me.
• Who determines what is a “national emergency” anyway? If I were in charge of this new system, I would have used it on Sunday to complain to the whole nation about some of the calls in the Browns/Raiders game. “Alert: The Browns are getting destroyed by the referees! We must do something about this. Alert, that was definitely a fumble! Please fix this immediately!”
• Is warm iced tea still iced tea? If not, what it is?
• Or what about sending out national alerts when something good happens during the day? Is that allowed? “Alert! The weather is awesome outside today. Please go outside and enjoy it! And take some doughnuts with you, too!”
• Is it ever correct to cross your arm and have your right arm on top? It seems like your left arm should always be on top. Does everyone feel that way, or is that just me?
• If the federal government knows who I am and can send messages directly to my phone, why do they make it so complicated for me to contact them about tax refunds or to show up to vote?
• Doesn’t it seem like these alerts will become more and more common and then pretty soon they will have advertisements on them, too? “This National Earthquake Emergency is brought to you by Quaker Oats. Nothing settles a rumbling stomach like some oats!”
• Is it better to forget to bring food to a party where everyone else brings food, or to bring food to a party that no one eats?
• Can this alert system be used to warn me about movie disasters that I should stay away from? “Alert, the new Venom movie looks crazy! It may be fun, but be warned before you buy a ticket!” I should add that the mixed reviews just make me want to see the movie even more.
• Why is the new alert called a Presidential Alert? If they had called it a National Emergency Services Alert, no one would have cared. Now, no matter who is President, many people will not like it or trust it (especially if a President is constantly lying!)
• Does this national alert texting system mean I am now in a group chat with the whole country? That sounds awful.
• I do not want any Presidential Alert poems. “Please be warned about this very large storm front. You can trust me, it’s not a TOTAL WITCH HUNT!”
• Thank you for participating in this test of the Blog System. No further action is needed. Frankly, this TEST itself was probably too much. Now then, where are those doughnuts?